


this hell you found me in

by reig



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/F, Fluffy and angsty, fairytale AU, slight warning for arranged marriage issues on Regina's side
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-07
Updated: 2015-10-28
Packaged: 2018-04-13 10:58:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 30,422
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4519260
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reig/pseuds/reig
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When all the world seems to collapse around you what keeps you sane in the worst fate imaginable? sometimes you find love in the most unexpected places. (AU with young Regina and Emma meeting in Fairytale Land)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone! It is possible you have seen this on tumblr or FF.net already, I did post it there too not so long ago, but I decided to upload it here as well and maybe this time manage to finish it up. Hope you'll enjoy! :)

_Disclaimer: I don't own the show or the characters_

* * *

 

Running. Running away as fast as she could. As far as she could. Faster, harder, further. Those were the only thoughts in Regina's mind as she shot through the woods, ducking between bushes, sprinting along little paths then leaving those paths just to stumble across the undergrowth of the dense forest.

Her endlessly streaming tears blurring her eyesight, her anger tightening her chest. And pain, oh so much pain is was unbearable, making it hard to take the next breath, making it hard to go on. But she had to. She had to get away. She had to run as far as possible. Because while she was running she could pretend it didn't happen, she could pretend Daniel was still alive, she could pretend she wouldn't be forced to marry the kind in less than a fortnight. She could pretend she was free. While she was running, she was free…

Another time she might have gone to the stables, she would have chosen riding as a way to make her forget. Yes, she most certainly would have done that. Not this time though, not when Daniel's memory was still so fresh and clear in her mind. The taste of his last kiss still on her lips. And the feel of his limp, dead body in her arms.

Her breathing labored, she could barely keep going but she didn't stop, didn't allow herself to slow down. Her sobs came out raggedly, echoing around the quiet woods.

She knew she didn't have much time. She knew she couldn't run away, not as far as she wanted… She knew that any time now her mother would start looking for her and she would find and stop her with magic…

She shuddered just thinking about that dark, evil thing. Magic. There was nothing she hated more than that.

The ground was wet and slippery and she fell, collapsing next to a large trunk, her body hitting the fallen tree as she finally allowed the crying to take over her. She curled up, pulling her knees to her chest and burying her head in them as heaving sobs shook her body and she grieved for all that she would never be able to have.

She wanted to scream, she wanted to break things, she wanted to fight her mother… But she had no chance against her, she was so weak, so helpless.

Images invaded her mind once again, images she tried so hard to keep out of her head, ones she knew would haunt her till her last day and she gasped for breath as she felt her shattered heart tighten even more. She saw her mother's hand in Daniel's chest, she saw the pulsating, deep red heart clutched in her fingers, she heard the shocked and terrified choking sound that involuntarily slipped past the stable boy's lips as her mother squeezed. She saw the way his face contorted in excruciating agony and she wanted to shout again as she saw in slow motion how he fell to the ground. Then her mother's cold, heartless tone rang in her head  _'Love is weakness, Regina'_. And she just realized how true that was, she had so much love in her heart, her broken heart and all her chest throbbed with that love but she was utterly weak as well.

She pushed herself up from the ground, almost tripped up again but she held her footing as she blindly started to run again. Run from those images, leave them behind to have blissful emptiness fill her whole body.

The darkness of the night enveloped her and she staggered from tree to tree, trying to keep herself upright but she was so exhausted, so drained and so hurt. She was aching all over. She wished she could just die. Miserable and heartbroken and wretched and so completely alone.

And as she took off again, breaking into an unsteady running she imagined there might be a world out there were she could be free, she told herself if she ran fast enough maybe she could leave this all behind, she imagined that if she ran fast enough, hard enough she could turn back time. That maybe when she was eventually forced to go back home Daniel would be there, waiting for her with a secret smile on his lips, his arms ready to embrace her…

Suddenly her movement was halted though and she fell back on the ground. For a moment she thought it was her mother's magic, that she conjured up an invisible wall in front of her so she couldn't run further but then she heard the groan of someone in the darkness.

She pushed herself up into a sitting position and she squinted, her eyes adjusting to the dark enough to see the form sprawled out on the ground just a few feet away. The form moved and sat up as well and Regina's eyes widened when she saw that it was a girl as well. A young girl with curly blonde hair tumbling down her shoulders and green eyes blinking back at her in surprise.

"Are you alright?" she asked and for a moment Regina just stared at her breathlessly. Then she nodded, not trusting her voice. "You sure? Because… well don't take this the wrong way, but you don't look okay… " the girl told her and instantly a blush covered her cheeks. "I-I mean… not that you aren't pretty… because you are very beautiful… I mean I can't really see much of you in the dark now…But I'm sure you are very pretty… I just…" the girl spluttered nervously and she crawled closer the still unmoving Regina.

A small sound somewhere between a chuckle and a sob escaped Regina's mouth without her permission and she quickly looked down.

"I'm fine." she croaked out, her voice raspy and low.

"Oh my God, are you crying?" the girl gasped in concern and Regina felt a tentative hand on her back. "Did I hurt you? I'm so sorry…"

"You didn't hurt me." Regina shook her head, wiping at the tears that were on her cheeks, retaining from putting too much emphasis on the word 'you'.

"What happened to you?" the girl murmured worriedly and Regina looked up to see her scanning her up and down. She knew she must have been a strange sight in her torn and dirty gown with disheveled hair, puffy eyes and red nose.

She just shook her head, refusing to make eye contact with this stranger. They stayed like that for a long moment, Regina staring down at her lap but feeling the girl's intense eyes on her.

"I'm Emma." she heard the shy voice and as she glanced up she saw a tiny smile light up the other girl's whole face.

"I'm Regina." she said after only a second of hesitation.

"What are you doing out in the woods so late, Regina?" Emma asked her and there was something so gentle about the way her name rolled off her tongue, in the way she gazed at her with sparkling green eyes that Regina just wanted to get lost in this moment. Forget all her pain. But she couldn't answer her, as her brain registered the question the pang in her chest, all her tormenting thoughts returned and tears pooled in her eyes once again, making Emma's face haze over.

Her tears rolled down her cheeks and she wanted to hide away but much to her surprise in the next moment she felt two arms around herself, pulling her into the warmness of the other girl's chest.

And there and then, she broke. She let all the pain curse through her, her throbbing heart pumping liquid hurt all over her body as she heaved with endless sobs into this unknown girl's chest. And as the images flooded her mind again, as she was swallowed in her despair and hopelessness Emma was her anchor, her soft voice whispering into her ear, her surprisingly strong arms squeezing her, her tender fingers running up and down Regina's back. She was the only thing that kept her from going mad from the scorching anguish.

When her tears subsided and everything became eerie quiet around them Regina sniffled and pulled back embarrassedly. She swallowed several times as she wiped her cheeks with the back of her palms. She felt spent, worn, raw. But she also felt strangely calm, her racing heart returning to its normal speed. The adrenaline all gone and now she became all too aware of her surroundings. Of where she was and who she was with and just what had happened.

"Please excuse me…" she murmured as she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, knowing that it probably didn't help her appearance much. Her mother would probably have a heart attack if she saw her now.

"You don't need to apologize, Regina." Emma told her warmly and she reached out to touch her but Regina shied away from her hand. "Hey!" she called to her and she couldn't help but raise her eyes back to those green orbs. "It's okay. I don't know what happened… I get it that…you don't want to tell me, that you don't want to talk about it. When something horrible happens, you don't want to talk about it because that means facing it and you aren't ready for that. Also I'm just this girl you literally bumped into and… And I know that sometimes you just have to… cry it out. Let it all out. And that the best someone else can do is just to be there for you. And I don't know why you're out here now Regina, I don't know if there's someone waiting for you, if there's someone who would have been there for you but… I'm glad I could be there for you… even if that was the most I could do…" she said, honesty gleaming in her eyes and then she smiled. And that smile was enough to ease Regina's discomfort, it was the light in the seemingly infinite darkness. That smile was the save haven, the oasis of peace that Regina needed in that moment.

"Thank you…" she whispered gratefully, the corners of her own lips tugging upwards without her noticing.

"I was right. You truly are beautiful." Emma said after a silent moment and Regina flushed.

As they were sitting on the ground between leaves and grass and soil she finally took the time to take in this girl. As she already noted she had blond hair, but Regina just now realized it was the loveliest shade of gold, cascading down in rich waves and curls around a stunning face with those unforgettably green eyes, high cheekbones and soft pink lips. She was wearing brown leather riding pants and shirt and she had a dark green cloak on. She was slim and tall. But as Regina looked more closely she also saw that Emma was about the same age as her, she couldn't have been more than 18.

"So are you, dear." she told her softly.

Minutes stretched long but neither of them noticed as they gazed into each other's eyes, finding some sort of weird, unknown tranquility in each other, a deep understanding between two strangers neither of them ever experienced before. Then all of a sudden voices sounded from the distance. Yells and cries and sounds of marching and stomping and galloping horses and snores and as they girls snapped out of their haze they could see the light of torches cutting through the darkness of the night, swaying and without doubt approaching.

_"_ _Can you see her?"_

_"_ _Nothing yet…"_

_"_ _Keep going!"_

_"_ _Ahead!"_

_"_ _You know the order, we gotta find her!"_

The voices mingled together, muffled and strained, reaching them just like the messages of the breeze but both girls' eyes widened. Regina was sure they were her mother's guards or just people from the house coming to search for her to take her back and Emma looked equally as worried and in that moment Regina realized she didn't even know what the other girl was doing in the woods. If she was lost, or a runaway if she was being chased if she was in trouble or in danger, if she was noble or a peasant…

But she didn't have time to wonder because the voices were getting closer and now she could recognize the tones of their men, the men she knew since she was a little girl. She knew if they found her with Emma they would take her back to the house as well and her mother would punish both of them even though Emma did nothing wrong. No, she couldn't let her get caught…

"You have to go…" she whispered hurriedly as she stood up on still wobbly legs. Emma stood as well, patting down her backside as she did so.

Their eyes met for one last time and Regina wished they could stay like this, wished she could get to know this girl who saw her in her most vulnerable moment, who held her and gave her exactly what she needed without a second thought. She wished it was a different place, a different time and they could maybe become friends. She wished she didn't feel so empty and inhuman inside as she nodded at this girl who saw her break apart.

"Thank you…" she whispered once more.

"Anytime!" Emma winked at her playfully and she couldn't help but let a small grin spread across her face as she watched the other girl practically throw herself into the woods "Oh and Regina?" she paused to glance back above her shoulder. "I know we don't know each other but…you're stronger than you know, never forget that!" she told her before disappearing from her sight within seconds. And for some reason Regina did feel just a little bit stronger as she turned away with a sigh, towards the approaching light of flames and the yells of ' _I can see her_ ' ' _She's here!_ ' ' _We found her!_ '


	2. Chapter 2

Regina watched her reflection in the mirror with an emotionless expression on her face. Tonight was the night, her engagement ball or whatever her mother called it so excitedly. She was wearing a fluffy light blue gown and truly it was beautiful, at any other time she would have loved it. She would have worn it proudly, happily. But not tonight. Not when this dress was made specifically for this occasion, for this night that symbolized her tremendous fate. This night that made it all official. Irreversible.

She swallowed against the lump in her throat, allowing the practiced mask to slip onto her face. The inexpressive eyes and the barely there half-smile. The one she wore ever since that tragic night. Ever since her mother accepted the king's proposal for her and she was forced to act like the perfect maiden, ready to merrily marry the king.

Ever since that night, nobody has seen her cry, nobody has seen her feelings, nobody has seen the old Regina. When she was alone at night, she would curl up under her covers and soundlessly weep for the life she wished she could have had, for her heart, for Daniel. But as daylight came, as the Sun came up she got out of bed each morning and put on that mask, obedient as ever for she knew that it was her only choice.

"Regina darling, are you ready?" her mother's voice sounded from the doorway and in the next moment she could see the heavy wooden doors open to reveal the woman herself, dressed elegantly in a long, dark blue velvet gown, her hair in a perfect updo.

"Yes, mother."

Cora walked up to Regina and stepped behind her with a tight lipped smile, watching her in the mirror as well. And in her eyes Regina could see something that was the closest to pride she has ever seen on her mother. That made the pieces of her broken heart ache. Why couldn't Cora accept her as she was? Why couldn't she love her like that? But she didn't let any of those thoughts appear on her face, her mask intact she smiled at her mother.

"You look stunning, my dear." Cora told her.

"Thank you." she said politely but turned away from the mirror, unable to look at herself any longer.

"Come now, it's time to meet your fiancé and the guests." her mother told her, putting her hand on the small of Regina's back and she had to repress a shudder at the word Cora used.

Fiancé. It was almost impossible to believe that that old, wrinkled, grey haired man would be her soon to be husband. She knew she was supposed to feel honored to be proposed to by the king himself, she knew she should be happy that she would be queen but all she could feel was disgust, anger and… and blankness. All the other things she would be feeling, all those things that happened  _that_  night, that made her run… all the emotions she cried out of herself… they were masked into blankness, just a remote memory she tried to avoid at all costs. Do this way all she had left was her loathing towards her upcoming marriage.

How excited she was at the concept of marriage as a little girl, she thought bitterly. How she dreamed of marrying a young prince or lord. Maybe a knight that would spot her one day and fall in love with her… She had to smirk at all those ridiculously fluffy, sweet daydreams she had.

Her mother used to tell her she's becoming an 'old maid' that was all she heard ever since the girls around her started to get married. Oh she remembered alright, Grace was the first one to be wed. She was the daughter of their neighbor, Sir Montgomery. Her mother had easily said it didn't matter because Grace married a commoner, the son of a merchant. But after that all her friends got married and she was still unmarried. Of course her mother never knew that her heart was reserved for… That she loved…

No she couldn't. She just couldn't even make herself think of  _him_. It was too painful…

So now her mother was on cloud nine, she was finally engaged and to a king nonetheless. It didn't matter what Regina thought, it didn't matter what she wanted, what she felt. And as the day approached Regina found that she was awaiting it less and less each day, hating the idea of whose wife she would be in mere days.

Regina shooed her thoughts away as she walked towards the door slowly, gracefully just like she was taught. A lady should always act like a lady, talk like a lady and walk like a lady. She couldn't just run around or walk with bouncy steps, no a lady glided. And a queen, a queen walked, talked and acted hundred times as elegantly as a lady. She was the queen after all. Her mother never ceased to remind her when she did something unladylike, being overly strict with her, expecting her never to make a mistake and so she had been raised to act like a true queen. She knew what was expected of her and she knew she didn't have any other choice but to do so…

They exited her bedchamber and strolled down the hallways towards the huge ballroom, Regina letting her eyes wander and take in the decorations on the walls and in the windows they passed. Purple, pink and white flowers, satins, ribbon bows everywhere. It was a bit too flashy and fancy for her liking but she had a feeling Snow chose them. And that made her hate those ribbons with all her being. She heard the sounds of soft music, the melody flowing through the hallways, getting louder with every step they took towards the ballroom.

They didn't enter through the same door as the guests, they used the hallway that would lead to the arch at the top of the stairs. Regina saw the people downstairs, ladies in beautiful evening gowns and impeccably dressed men. Princes, kings and noblemen for sure.

"Lady Regina, finacée of our beloved King Leopold and her mother Lady Cora." the herald announced and a hush fell over the crowd, everyone turning their faces towards them, craning their necks to see the girl who would soon be queen.

Her father was waiting for them at the top of the stairs and he led her down with their arms locked and his touch was the only thing that gave Regina any sort of comfort. He squeezed her arm encouragingly, reading her mind and knowing exactly how trapped she felt and at the same time silently apologizing for not being strong enough to save her from this. Cora was walking just one step behind them, no doubt with a brilliant smile on her face. Regina tried to force a smile on as well, knowing she was expected to look excited to be queen and friendly and welcoming towards others.

King Leopold was at the bottom of the stairs and he had a benevolent smile on his face, positively beaming at them as they approached but Regina wished nothing more than to run again. Run far far away. He took her arm, his skin dry like paper against hers and she resisted to urge to wrench her hand away from his and escape this nightmare. This was her life now. It was time to accept. To surrender.

They walked slowly down the length of the room and Regina was painfully aware of each pair of eyes glued to them. Everybody followed them with their eyes and as they got to the little stage with two thrones on it where Snow White was waiting for them. As they stepped up she flashed Regina an eager smile that she just wanted to slap off that lovely face, her hatred for the little girl flaming inside her chest. But she knew she couldn't do a thing so she turned away from her and faced the hundreds of ladies and lords who came here to witness her damnation of sorts.

"My dear friends!" King Leopold addressed the crowd warmly. "Thank you all for coming to this wonderful event tonight. Tonight we celebrate that after so many unfruitful journeys to find someone worthy to replace my adored wife, Eva… God bless her memory… I finally found someone who could step into her place as queen and as a stepmother for my sweet Snow." the king said and turned his face to her for a moment before he resumed speaking. Regina stood next to him, a smile frozen on her face as she watched him make a speech. She couldn't really hear what he was saying, she wasn't listening to his words. Her mind was blissfully blank and her eyes were firmly glued to a carving on the opposite wall above the heads of the guests.

This was her life now. Balls. Announcements. Princes and princesses. Lies and pretending. Her life. The girl in her, the innocent, young, playful creature who loved riding, who laughed, who was carefree, the girl who lived deep within her wanted to cry and scream. But Regina couldn't be that girl anymore. That girl had to be forgotten.

That girl had so much love. And love was a weakness. Regina had to be strong.

King Leopold finished his speech and people clapped and raised their glasses towards them. Then the musicians started to play a waltz and the king turned towards her again. She knew what was coming, she had been taught well. It was time for the king and his bride to dance, to open their engagement ball as traditions required. However, much to her surprise Leopold stepped past her and without glancing at Regina, he offered his hand to his daughter. Regina kept her face in a stony mask, the well-practised half smile etched into her features as she followed the king with her eyes. She heard Snow's girlish giggle as the princess shook her head.

"You have to dance with Regina first, father!" she reminded him kindly and instead of taking his offered hand she guided it to Regina's.

"As you wish, Snow…" Leopold nodded and only then looked at her. "Regina, may I…?" he asked but of course it wasn't a real request. It was rather an order.

Regina fastened that fake smile on her face as she stepped forward, almost hearing her mother's whisper in her ear  _'Smile Regina, you're going to be queen!'_

People gave way to the pair as they reached the dance floor in the middle of the room. The king pulled her in, putting his hand on her waist and holding her other hand in his own and they started to dance. Regina knew the steps, she knew them since she was five. She remembered practicing them with her father in the great hall at home, how at first she would step on his feet and he would laugh and tell her he'll step on hers as well to get back at her if she didn't learn the steps. The king was a good dancer, he was confident and surprisingly strong though he couldn't compare to that one time… in the stables… when she danced with Daniel.

Regina swallowed hard, her throat suddenly dry and the urge to either sob or throw up almost unbearable. But she just took a big breath, well as big as her corset allowed, and twirled under the king's arm.

The song was over soon but there was no rest for Regina as men came and asked to dance with her. The king gave her over willingly, turning and looking for Snow and Regina turned her head away and pressed her lips together in a tight smile as she curtseyed before the dance started.

"You look very beautiful tonight, your majesty." a prince said and the title was so foreign to her she almost didn't realize he was speaking about her. Technically she wasn't a queen yet but that didn't stop people from addressing her as one as she found out throughout the evening.

"Thank you, sir." she nodded, looking away above his shoulder, into the swirling colors of the dresses around them, the faces that appeared and then disappeared as the pairs practically flowed around each other in the dance. Regina sometimes caught sight of a face when the dance slowed or when it was time to make a circle or change pairs for a few steps but overall the whole dancing was blurred together in her mind.

After seemingly endless dances she felt like she couldn't take another step without collapsing and that was when little Snow appeared at her side.

"I'm sorry Sir Jonah, but you have to let Lady Regina go… My father wishes to introduce her to some people…" she told the man who seemed just as taken with the girl as everyone else as he stepped back and bowed politely to both of them before turning away.

Snow grabbed her hand and pulled her towards the edge of the dance floor where the tables were set up.

"Come and drink something before we go…" she suggested and to be completely honest, Regina was grateful for it. She took a glass of wine from a tray and she took a few sips before sighing. She looked at Snow who was watching her with sparkling, impatient eyes and an animated expression. She was wearing a creamy white gown with pearls sewn into it. "Are you ready?" she asked when Regina didn't take another sip.

"Yes, dear." she told her and carefully put the glass back down.

"Then come, you have to meet many people…" Snow told her as she dragged her through the crowd towards the stage with the two thrones. As Regina glanced up she could see that Leopold was seated in one of them and he seemed deeply immersed in a conversation with one of his servants. As he caught sight of them though he sent the man away and stood up.

"Snow, Regina, here you are!" he greeted them with outstretched arms.

"Yes daddy, I found Regina!" Snow enthusiastically told her father who cupped her cheek with one hand lovingly.

"Thank you my sweet…" he murmured then he looked at Regina. "Come, Regina…I want you to meet a few of my friends!" he said and offered her his arm. She locked her arm with his and he led her towards a couple standing not too far from the stage. "Robert! Elisabeth!" he called out to them and the people turned to them with charming smiles on their faces.

"Your majesty!" they greeted Leopold and both of them curtseyed respectfully.

"Regina, I would like you to meet the Duke and Duchess of the Bloom Islands!" Leopold said and Regina offered her hand to the man who breathed a kiss above it, his lips never touching her skin.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, your graces!" Regina said and looking at the woman she curtseyed.

The duchess wore a shiny dark green dress with a high neckline and there were feathers in her hair while her husband dressed to match her outfit, wearing a forest green long sleeved doublet and black pants.

"Oh she is so pretty, Leopold. And so polite…" Elisabeth cooed, smiling widely at Regina, which made the girl rather uncomfortable. Even though sadly she was used to being talked about like she wasn't there, deep down it still bothered her.

Leopold chatted with the couple for a few minutes then he excused themselves and guided Regina further into the crowds.

"They are a very prestigious family and quite pleasant. Elisabeth was a very dear friend of my Eva…" Leopold commented as they weaved between people.

They approached a group of people near the archway leading to the garden. The small circle opened up as the guests noticed their arrival and each one of them greeted the king and his companion formally.

"My friends, I would like to introduce you to Regina…" Leopold told them then turned towards the girl who stood at his side. "Regina these are Prince George and his parents King Philip and Queen Elena. That is Sultan Hamed of Agrabah and his stunning daughter Jasmin and this is Prince James and Princess Grace and … where is Princess Emma?" Leopold listed as he looked at each of them then paused when noticed someone was missing. He looked around with a soft smile which widened when he spotted someone just a few steps away from them. "Oh there she is!" he chuckled as he saw that the blonde girl standing with her back to them was struggling to get a whole piece of cake into her mouth.

Regina was mildly amused to see how the girl's mother was absolutely horrified by the embarrassing situation, a deep crimson blush appearing on her cheeks.

"Please excuse her, your majesty…" she apologized with downcast eyes.

"Oh don't worry, that cake is delicious if I tell you myself!" Leopold laughed good heartedly and the others in the little circle cracked up as well.

"Dear daughter of mine, would you honor us with your pleasure?" Prince James called out to the girl in an almost teasing tone. "The king would like to introduce you to someone…" he added and Regina had to repress her laughter when she saw how the girl visibly froze, her hand that was at her mouth stopping and then she slowly put it next to her body. Her jaw moved quickly as she tried to chew everything in her mouth then she smoothed down her gown and turned around.

And that was when the world seemed to stop moving altogether for Regina. Because she knew that girl already…


	3. Chapter 3

That was impossible. That couldn't be. It was all she could think of in that first moment of utter shock.

It felt like she was in a bubble, deaf to the music and chatter, only seeing the blurred outlines of King Leopold and all the princes and princesses around her as her eyes were glued to the all too familiar face. The face which she only saw the darkness of the forest through the layer of her tears but a face she would recognize anytime, anywhere. A face that haunted her dreams ever since. The sparkling green eyes and the blonde tresses which were pulled back into a bun and adorned by a tiara, only a few strands falling out and around that pretty face.

The breath caught in her lungs and she had to remind herself to breathe as Emma ran her eyes over the party and found the king. And next to the king Regina herself. And those eyes settled on her.

Green eyes bore into melted chocolate as their eyes met and held the connection as Emma stepped towards them. A sheepish smile slowly appeared on her face, nervousness glittering in her hesitant eyes just like she was waiting to see what Regina would say. How she would react. Whether she would kick her out or sometimes. Of course Regina couldn't do that, a lady never acted so crassly as to kick anyone out of a ball, not to mention a queen. Not that it even crossed her mind to kick Emma out…

Instead as an almost automatic response to the blonde's grin, her lips turned upwards too in a shy smile. But that was the only visible sign that she had ever met Emma before. Their connection, though it felt like long moments, only lasted for a couple of seconds and thankfully went unnoticed by everyone around them as they were all focused on Emma.

"Regina this lovely lady here is Princess Emma, daughter of Prince James and Princess Grace…" King Leopold told her, his voice cutting through her daze and bringing her back to reality.

"It's a pleasure to meet you all!" she murmured politely with a smile, trying and failing to avoid looking at Emma. The girl's eyes were fixed on her too and in the next moment Regina could almost see as an idea formed in her pretty head.

Emma stepped forward, right in front of Regina and she offered her hand with a tentative smile.

"Would you honor me with this dance, your majesty?" she asked, her voice sweet like honey and so full of hope that Regina wanted to drown in it.

Even though she wished nothing more than to grab Emma's hand and flee to the dancing floor with her she knew her mother would be very angry at her for such a decision. She was now the bride of the king and that basically meant she was almost like a property to him. She couldn't just flee to dance with princesses whenever she wanted. Especially not when she was in his company. So she glanced at Leopold at her side questioningly, only to find him looking affectionately at Emma then turning his gaze at her amusedly. At her unsure look he just nodded at her and that was all Regina needed.

She allowed the first real smile of the night to grace her features as she daintily put her hand into Emma's, meeting her soft skin and let her lead her away from the people and towards the couples dancing.

"You know I'm not queen yet, you don't need to call me that…" she murmured, referring to the title Emma used as they reached the dance floor.

"Oh then…how am I supposed to call you?" Emma asked with a glint in her eyes and Regina would have sworn that it was cheekiness paired with the playfulness she detected in the girl's voice.

"Simply Regina." she answered as she stepped in front of Emma, reaching out to get a hold of her other hand too as they started dancing slowly.

They moved together without saying anything for long minutes, the music flooding their minds and taking over each thought as they enjoyed the strange connection that existed between them. Neither of them quite understood it, all Regina knew was that was the first moment ever since she arrived at court that she could breathe easily. That she felt alive. That she felt anything like herself…

"So… I wouldn't have pegged you for a princess." she murmured, not breaking eye contact as they turned around and around in the dance.

"And I didn't think you were a soon-to-be queen either." Emma chuckled at her. "But what you saw there that night… that's pretty much who I am to be honest." she told her after a moment. "I'm not much of an average girly princess. I'm not very fond of fluff and tulle and jewels and all that stuff…" she admitted with a small shrug.

"Well this dress suits you very well anyways." Regina told her sincerely and she couldn't help but realize she found the pink blush that crept up onto Emma's face completely endearing.

The song ended and another began but neither of them seemed to want to stop so they just continued to dance. At some point a knight stepped up to them and tapped Emma's shoulder with a friendly and rather hopeful smile on his handsome face, motioning to Regina.

"May I..?" he asked and Regina internally sighed, prepared for another tedious dance where she was expected to make small talk and be nice to this man. But much to her shock Emma shot the man a smirk and shook her head, shooting him a 'You may not' before turning back to Regina with a wink and dancing away from the completely dumbstruck knight.

Regina had to physically force herself to refrain from bursting out laughing and instead she stared at Emma with wide eyes and mouth agape.

"What? I wanna dance some more… If I let you go now, I'll never get you back…" she sighed, rolling her eyes like it was obviously a really annoying problem of hers and that was it for Regina. She chuckled and it turned into a wild laugh, her body shaking with it so much they had to stop dancing. Emma joined as well, watching in delight as Regina's face contorted with the force of her laughter.

All throughout the evening Regina hadn't felt so carefree and so happy like in that moment. She didn't care if it was unladylike or if she would get scolded later, she didn't even care what the king and the other guests were thinking in that moment. All she could think of was how Emma's bright green eyes seemed to be aflame as she laughed, deep green flames dancing in her eyes, so beautiful she wanted to sink into them. And how her soft pink lips parted, revealing a set of perfect white teeth.

Other couples bumped into them while dancing, staring at them, some with narrowed eyebrows and other with lingering worried gazes and so Emma grabbed Regina's hand again and with hasty steps she pulled her away from the dance floor.

"Where… where are we going?" Regina asked, her chuckles fading as she realized that Emma had led her out of the ball room.

"I think we need some fresh air." Emma told her with a mischievous smile and never letting go of her hand, she dragged Regina down a hallway until they reached the door leading to the garden. Across the yard the ball room's archway was visible, allowing them to watch the talking guests and the dancing couples in the background.

As they stepped out into the little garden Regina's eyes immediately fell on the apple tree that was planted into the middle of it. She smiled softly, remembering the similar apple tree that they had on the estate back at home, under which she used to have secret picnics with Daniel. However, painful images flooded her mind as she let it wander to the man she loved and it was so powerful she felt like it would break her.

If it wasn't for Emma's hand still in hers, reminding her of reality she would have drifted away into those dark, never endingly miserable thoughts. The princess tugged at her hand though as she momentarily faltered and pulled her along to the little stone bench that was not very far from the tree.

They sat down next to one another, hands letting go and Regina had to repress her disappointed sigh as she felt Emma's fingers slipping from her palm. They sat closely, so close that Regina could make out the sparkling gems one by one on the other girl's tiara. So close that she actually caught a whiff of Emma's scent which was a strange mix of a flower and something spicy like… Cinnamon? Whatever it was, Regina thought it was amazing. So alluring that she had to refrain from leaning in further.

"I'm sorry you're forced to marry the king…" Emma murmured to her after a long silence between them in which Regina just gazed at the ball that continued on, nobody noticing their absence. Emma's voice, no matter how soft it was made her startle as it broke her out of her thoughts and the girl's bluntness made her wince. Nobody has ever really acknowledged her impending marriage as it was even though everybody knew it couldn't have been True Love. It wasn't like it was uncommon to have arranged marriages but most of them weren't with such an age difference. And Emma was the first to say anything about that.

Regina pursed her lips together and nodded, staring ahead of herself, not meeting the girl's eyes. Then she hung her head, feeling tears well up in her eyes.

She couldn't allow her walls to crumble now, not even with this princess who acted so different than anyone around there.

"I think my parents are looking for a husband for me too…" Emma admitted in a small voice and when from the corner of her eye she saw her shiver, Regina finally glanced at her. Emma seemed to be deep in thought, the moonlight shining on her blonde hair and in that moment Regina thought she was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen.

"I'm sure they'll find you a nice prince!" she said dryly, sarcastically.

"Like yours did?" Emma teased with a dark chuckle and if it wasn't so terribly true, if it wasn't her life now Regina would have laughed.

"I'm sure King Leopold is a great man. He loves his daughter very much…" Regina muttered and it was ridiculous really, these arguments she tried to use to convince herself that maybe all wasn't lost just yet. That it could have been worse. And it was true, the king was a good person, he was kind and benevolent and nice and… Regina internally sighed. Who was she kidding?

"Yeah but… he's so… old. And you're…" Emma trailed off, biting her bottom lip.

"I'm what? Young?" she asked back, a small smirk appearing on her lips. Her mother always told her how old she was and here Emma thought she was too young to marry the king.

"Yes, young… and beautiful. And so innocent. You shouldn't… " Emma's voice broke and suddenly she was looking at Regina with the most caring and concerned expression she had ever received " you shouldn't be put through this. You shouldn't have to experience this… You deserve so much better, so much more Regina…" she finished in a whisper.

They locked gazes once again and there was so much emotion in the depths of Emma's eyes Regina couldn't even fathom how a girl so young could feel all that. How she could show such compassion and sympathy towards her, how she cared even though they barely knew each other. There was something so captivating in Emma, something that made Regina wonder why they couldn't met sooner. When she was indeed young and innocent. And happy. When she could be herself. She would have liked to meet Emma then. Let them get to know each other, allow herself to care for Emma. She wanted to get to know Emma, she wanted to care for her even if it seemed completely irrational. And probably not very clever. Love was weakness. She learned it the hard way. However, her heart, her destroyed, broken heart quivered alive as she found herself drawn in by the princess, unable to tear her eyes away. Her throbbing, aching heart fluttered feebly but for the first time since that night… It made its presence known. It spoke to Regina. It told her this girl was important. Different.

The quiet melody drifted outside from the ball room, reaching them with the soft evening breeze and Regina tilted her head in thought before a small smirk tugged at her lips.

"You said you wanted to dance some more…" she murmured, reminding Emma of their encounter with the knight a few minutes ago.

Emma's eyes widened almost comically as she blinked, surprised and when she still didn't move Regina motioned towards the little clearing under the apple tree with her head, her smirk turning playful all of a sudden. At that the blonde's lips turned upside too, a beam taking over her face as she jumped up from the bench and held out her hand towards Regina.

She placed her hand in it delicately, their fingers entwining, unusually for simple dancing partners but neither of them seemed to mind it or want to comment, let alone change it. Emma gently pulled her closer to her body, much closer than it was deemed proper by etiquette but Regina allowed herself to enjoy the little chills it caused to run down her spine as she felt the other girl's hands settle on her waist and she put her hands on Emma's shoulders.

They didn't say a word, they didn't need them as they started swaying lightly from side to side, following the music that seemed to fill up the air around them. The darkness enveloped them, hiding them from prying eyes, the stars far ahead shining down on them being the only witnesses to their private moment of perfect peace.

After a few minutes Regina slightly pulled back to look Emma in the eyes and what she saw there made her breath catch in her throat. Emma was watching her intently, green eyes filled with caring and affection and longing and suddenly it was all very serious and it wasn't their playful banter, the teasing anymore. It was real. And it made Regina's heart race in her chest.

"Regina…?" Emma croaked out and almost instantly blushed.

"Yeah?" she whispered, looking away above the blonde's shoulder.

"Can I…" Emma paused, averting her eyes too and only after a moment of silence did Regina look back at her in confusion to find that Emma's eyes were fixed on the tip of her shoes, barely visible under the dress.

"What is it?" she prodded, not sure if she really wished to hear it but curiosity getting the better of her.

"I just… " Emma sighed, looking up again and staring at Regina's face with a newfound determination. "Can I kiss you?"


	4. Chapter 4

_"Can I kiss you?"_

* * *

 

The question echoed around in Regina's shocked mind, shy and hesitant. The breath got caught in her throat, her heart thudding wildly in her chest as she stared at Emma with wide eyes. They stopped moving altogether, just standing there under the apple tree in the moonshine, clutching at each other like nothing else mattered.

She knew it was absurd, she knew it was uncommon and irrational, she knew it was something that was frowned upon. She knew it was forbidden for her. Maybe that was what made the mere thought so taunting. She also knew that if her mother learned about this any way she would be punished dearly. She shuddered internally just thinking of it. What her mother would do. To her. And to Emma as well. No she couldn't go through that again.

But even with these thoughts cursing through her mind like a wildfire she couldn't help but take one look into Emma's sparkling green orbs, tentative and hopeful at the same time and her eyes wandered to the other girl's lips.

And it was completely stupid because she was in love with Daniel. A man. He was her first and only love. He was the only one she was ever attracted to. And Emma…she was a girl. A very pretty, amazing, funny and smart girl… But a girl nonetheless. It was not possible. Her heart must be playing tricks with her. Her broken, aching, lonely heart that found some connection with Emma, that found caring for the first time in weeks.

Her heart that fluttered madly as she gazed at Emma, when she watched as the girl's pink tongue came out to wet her lips. Her heart that jumped into her throat when Emma slowly reached up and tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear and stroked her cheekbone with her thumb. Her heart that screamed with her to let go of her fears and let Emma have a chance.

"I just… I couldn't get you out of my mind. Not for a moment. Ever since that night… And then..when I heard. When I saw you here…It was painful. I was hurting. For you. I just wished I didn't run away from you that night. I wish I brought you with me. I wish I could save you… And I kept thinking of you ever since. I just feel this weird thing. This connection. You left an imprint on my heart that night. I feel like… I can't forget you, Regina…" Emma murmured shyly, averting her eyes as her thumb paused on Regina's cheek.

"Y-yes…" she whispered shakily as she took a tiny step closer to the other girl, leaning into Emma's embrace, her face immediately burning with a blush. "You can…k-kiss me…" she added with just the tiniest watery smiles when Emma's eyes snapped back up to her, confusion marring her features.

As soon as the words left her mouth Emma's green eyes gleamed with awe.

"Really?" she asked back with wide eyes and a hopeful lilt in her voice.

"Yeah…" Regina breathed, dumbfounded at her own words as well but a pleasant chill of nervousness running through her body at the anticipation of what was to come.

They shifted towards each other carefully, slowly, both of them holding their breaths. Their eyes bore into one another, unspoken words exchanged in that charged moment and Emma gently tilted Regina's head so her face was in the perfect angle as she leaned forward. Regina's eyes closed on their own accord, her lips falling open just a breath, awaiting the sweet contact of the other girl's mouth on hers. She could feel the heat from Emma's body, the air that escaped the princess's lips dancing on her own.

And just as their lips were about to meet, just on the brim of the promise of utter bliss coming with the kiss a shrill call interrupted their perfect nightly silent.

"Regina! Regiiiiiinnnaaa!" it sounded again and she waited a moment with closed eyes, hoping that if she concentrated hard enough it would disappear. That the quiet and calm embracing her and Emma in their own moment would be unbroken. "Regiiiinnnaaaa!" it sounded again and she couldn't help the small groan of frustration that escaped her throat as she very slowly pulled away from the warmth and comfort of Emma's arms and opened her eyes.

The expression on the other girl's face perfectly mirrored what she was feeling. It was almost funny how Emma's whole face fell as her green eyes lingered on Regina's face for another moment before stepping away and turning towards the voice.

"Regina!" now Snow's voice was starting to get impatient and snappy and it was so annoying. She hated that little brat more than anything else in the whole wide world in that second. She didn't think the girl could ruin her life even more but by ruining this one moment, the first time she felt relatively happy and free she proved her wrong.

The next second the young princess came bouncing around the apple tree and her whole face lit up in a beam as she spotted them.

"There you are! I looked for you everywhere!" she exclaimed as she came closer, then her eyes fell on Regina's companion. "Princess Emma! Hello!" she greeted her formally, doing a tiny curtsey before looking back at Regina and reaching out to grab her hand. "Come, you have to try the cake!" she told her seriously.

"Oh it's really great!" Emma told Regina after a little chuckle and she was immediately reminded of her first view of the other girl that evening, making her lips curl up as well.

"I bet it is…" she said and then glanced at Snow, who was still clutching her fingers before boldly looking straight into Emma's eyes again with a heated gaze and dropping her eyes to the pink lips just for a second too long as she added. "Though to be honest I saw some things in there I would like to taste more than that cake…"

It was just subtle enough that Snow couldn't understand but ambiguous enough that, especially combined with the expression on her face, Emma couldn't misunderstand it. And judging by the way the blonde's mouth fell open slightly and her green eyes darkened she definitely caught her meaning.

"Well I'm sure you can try anything you want. It's your ball after all!" Snow said, breaking the tension filled silence and making Regina turn her eyes on the little girl again. Then Snow pulled at her hand and started leading her back towards the ball room.

 _Her ball._  Regina wished to laugh darkly at that but she had to repress it as they stepped back into the ball room through the archway. People looked down at Snow with adorning smiles as the little girl made her way through the crowd, headed towards the tables. Once there she grabbed a plate and put a piece of cake on it, pushing it onto Regina's hand along with a dessert fork and waited with expectant eyes as Regina delicately cut down a bit and placed it into her mouth. The cake was indeed great, just sweet enough and light as a feather, the cream melting in Regina's mouth immediately but she made a show of grimacing just to mess with Snow White. She did keep the plate in her hand and sneaked tiny morsels into her mouth whenever the girl wasn't looking.

Sometime later she caught sight of a blonde flash from the corner of her eye and when she turned her head to it she saw Emma standing not too far away with her parents, who were talking to another couple but the princess only had eyes for her. The sparkling forest green eyes were practically glued to Regina and when she raised one eyebrow challengingly a half smirk spread on Emma's lips.

"Hey Regina?" her staring contest was interrupted by Snow's voice and she took a breath before tearing her eyes away from Emma.

"Yes?" she asked with a fake sweetness to it.

"Do you think we could go riding tomorrow?" the little girl asked and Regina almost choked on her own breath, her lungs closing up painfully at the thoughts the question brought into her mind. Riding. Horses. Stables. Daniel.  _Daniel._  The agony of the loss of the man came crashing down on her again with full force and so did her absolute hatred of the little girl who was looking up at her with a hopeful grin.

She felt her stomach constrict, bile rising in her throat, the piece of cake she was chewing suddenly dry and disgusting in her mouth. Her heart skipped several beats before it started beating wildly again, pumping boiling liquid fury into her veins, making her see red. Her eyes teared up and her hands curled into fists around the fork and the plate, threatening to break it.

"Regina?" Snow asked just the tiniest hint of hesitation in her tone but her voice snapped Regina out of her state, stopped her flaming anger like an icy slap. She blinked and pressed her feelings down, trying to put the mask back in place.

"Yes? I'm sorry dear…" she said, plastering a smile on her face.

"Could we go riding?" Snow asked again politely and this time Regina was careful not to react, careful to keep her emotions at bay as she met the girl's eyes.

"I'm not sure, dear." she murmured, averting her eyes.

"Why not? Daddy always says I can do whatever I want…" Snow told her charmingly and Regina could barely resist snorting out loud.  _Well that was crystal clear._

"We'll see, okay?" she forced out but her heart was already racing in her chest at the idea of being made to ride with Snow.

She avoided the stables entirely ever since that fateful night, only going near horses when they traveled and even then she stayed in the carriage. She felt a slight wave of guilt whenever she thought of Rocinante and the fact that she haven't seen him ever since, haven't gone to ride him or even just feed him even though ever since she got him for her twelfth birthday she went to him each day. No matter if it was raining or if she was ill, she made it a point to go and see her beloved horse. But ever since Daniel's death, she couldn't make herself enter the stables, although she knew that her horse came with them to the palace. She knew that Rocinante was safe, being taken care of with the other royal horses.

"Okay. But I wanna show you that I've been practicing. I kept in mind what you told me…" she paused and smiled brightly, hopefully at Regina then she added, reminding the woman of the first time they met. "That the only way to overcome my fear is to face it. That I have to get back on the horse. And I did." she said, puffing out her chest proudly and Regina felt like she couldn't take it anymore. She couldn't pretend she liked this child who obviously adored her, she couldn't pretend she didn't hate her, standing beside her and smiling at her like nothing happened. She couldn't pretend she didn't wish to go back there and not save her life when Snow was so oblivious.

She couldn't resist crying when Snow looked at her like she was all she ever wanted. It made her loathe the little girl with a renewed force but it also touched a deeper part of her, in her destroyed, vulnerable heart which resembled too much like self-hatred for detesting this girl, guilt for wishing her death when all she did was love Regina with the power only an innocent, pure child possessed. And that hint of guilt was what upset her the most. She couldn't feel that, she didn't want to feel bad about hating Snow. She had every right to hate the girl who ruined her life.

She couldn't face all that though in that moment, not when Snow was talking about riding, not when she was surrounded by hundreds of noblemen and women who came here to the palace for her engagement ball. Not when she was about to marry the king who could be her own father. Not when her heart was still rattled from her moment with Emma. Not when she was so close to just a second of utter bliss and Snow ruined it once again.

So she just stared at the girl without saying anything, gazed at her with an emotionless expression, her lips slightly agape as she struggled to keep her tears away and then she shook her head and rubbed at her eye with a hand.

"I-I'm sorry… Please excuse me…" she managed to croak out breathlessly before she turned away from Snow and cut through the crowd, putting as much distance between herself and the girl as possible. Not running, no a lady didn't run but barely resisting the urge.

And she didn't know where she was headed, she didn't know what she would do, all she knew she couldn't stay there with Snow White and talk to her about their history together.

And she just hurried across the room, taking turn after turn in the maze of dancers, bumped into people, apologized profusely until suddenly she was off the dance floor at the other end of the room and in a little clearing near the entrance, standing just a couple feet away from a group of talking people. She halted as her eyes fell on Emma who was clearly bored and just scanning the crowd but in the next second the blonde's eyes met Regina's and instantly a worried expression clouded her face.

They stood, just staring into each other's eyes above some person's shoulder for what seemed like ages before Regina's mind caught up with her and it was once again hard to breathe and she felt the need to flee. Her eyes broke away from unnerved green ones and her head snapped from right to left, a bit panicky as she looked for an escape, a way out. When she spotted the plain, dinky wooden door with a faded paint on it to the right of the staircase she didn't think, she just grabbed handfuls of her skirt and she hurriedly made her way to it, flattening her hand on the surface as she reached and almost sobbing in relief when it gave way and opened.

She didn't see how Emma excused herself as soon as she moved towards the door, she didn't see how the blonde made her way after her, rejecting offers of dance from princes as she tried to get to the door she disappeared behind fast but without anyone noticing. She didn't see the way Emma glanced around carefully before she reached out to open the door.

So Regina was startled when the door she thought would provide her safety and some alone time opened behind her. She swirled back towards it, ready to scowl at anyone who would enter but her mask fell away when she saw the familiar face of the blonde.

"Regina?" she heard the concerned murmur as Emma stepped into the dimly lit, narrow corridor and searched for her as her eyes got used to the darkness.

She didn't know what hit her in that moment but without a second thought, Regina stepped back towards Emma and just as the door slipped closed behind the other girl with a soft thud she pushed her back against the wood and cupping her cheek with one hand, she pressed her lips against Emma's in a firm kiss.


	5. Chapter 5

Wild, possessive, passionate, a fight of dominance. This kiss was nothing like Regina imagined their first kiss to be. It was nothing like the previous almost-kiss promised to be. But it made both women's blood boil with want. Craving more, needing more of the other.

Lips pressing against each other, teeth clashing and tongues reaching out, seeking access to sweet mouths. Soft moans sounding in the small space when access was given without hesitation. Hands slipping into silky tresses of hair, pulling at hairpins to make updos collapse and waves cascade down on shoulders. Fingers sliding across silk covered hips, arms going around waists to pull them more tightly together. Their limbs tangling, neither knowing where one ended and the other began. And it was only a kiss.

The world around them seemed to completely disappear, long minutes feeling like mere seconds and seconds as whole years as time stopped too as they immersed themselves in each other and the kiss.

And then it ended all too quickly, all too soon as Regina pulled back abruptly. She took a shaky step back to put some distance between them, gasping for air as she stared at Emma with eyes widened in shock and cheeks tinted a glorious shade of pink.

"I-I'm sorry…" she stuttered, her voice failing her, lacking the usual confidence and teasing and sounding rather just husky and breathless. Her trembling hands came up to hover over her lips for a fracture of a second before it wandered to her hair, tousled from Emma's fingers.

"Well I am not." Emma chuckled playfully which turned into a laugh at the dumbstruck expression and deepening blush on Regina's face. She smoothed down the small wrinkles that appeared on her dress and smiled softly at the other woman. "Don't worry, you looked like you needed it…" she murmured gently with a wink that finally earned her a small smile.

"I most certainly did." Regina admitted, averting her eyes shyly.

"Then I'm glad I could be of help.." Emma murmured and eyed the woman before her with worry etched onto her features. "Do you… want to talk about it?" she asked cautiously.

"No I just…" she started then trailed off, the feelings threatening to overwhelm her once again but she fought against the panic rising in her. She looked up and met Emma's warm green gaze and found that it helped her, anchored her to the present and didn't let her get swallowed by the darkness. "It was just too much…" she sighed and hung her head, her fingers fidgeting with the material of her dress.

"It's okay, you know..." Emma told her and boldly took a step forward, reaching out to slide her hands down Regina's forearms and curl her fingers around the other woman's hands with a reassuring squeeze. Even though she didn't know what triggered Regina's pain, she didn't know what caused her emotions to go wild she knew that she wanted to help her, she wanted to be there for her if she needed a shoulder to cry on or arms wrapped around herself and soft nothings whispered into her hair. "I'm here if you need me." she mumbled and smiled when Regina's eyes snapped up and surprise marred that beautiful face. In that instant Emma knew that even though she barely knew the other woman she was lost, falling unstoppably and she internally winced at the idea how and when it would end. Regina was the bride of King Leopold for God's sake, only an idiot like herself would have a crush on her…

Regina was genuinely confused at how an almost complete stranger could make her feel like that. So safe, so understood, so not alone. She felt tears welling up in her eyes at knowing she didn't need to play a part with Emma. Even though she saw her pain she didn't push her to reveal the source of it, she didn't try to take advantage of her vulnerability she just offered what Regina most needed. Care and comfort and a sense of security.

"Could you…Could you stay by my side tonight?" Regina asked hesitantly, bringing both of them out of their thoughts. She turned her hands so her palms were touching Emma's, her fingers entwining with the blonde's.

"Of course." Emma said, a bright beam breaking out on her face. "I'll follow you anywhere… Like a puppy!" she joked to lighten up the mood and Regina giggled then sighed, letting go of one of her hands but clutching the other tightly as she turned towards the door.

"I have to get back there." she muttered sounding utterly disappointed and devastated.

"Go, I'll be right next to you!" Emma encouraged her kindly and Regina looked at her once more as if she was seeking courage or power of will from the blonde's eyes then with a determined nod she squared her jaw, put on her mask and strode to the door.

She didn't see Emma's stunned and respectful expression as the princess witnessed her transformation from afraid, fragile innocent girl to a graceful and almost impossibly strong soon-to-be queen when she reached out and opened the door, stepping out and letting go of Emma's hand at the same time.

* * *

"Regina! Where have you been?"

They barely took two steps away from the door when a harsh, strict voice sounded above the melody of the lutes, visibly startling Regina. She halted her steps, her posture stiffening as she turned towards the voice, her eyes falling on the imposing figure of the approaching Cora Mills.

Regina haven't seen her mother all evening and made the huge mistake of simply forgetting her presence on the ball and that she probably watched every step Regina made carefully.

"Mother…I…I just…." Regina stuttered weakly and gulped, falling silent and Emma could clearly see that Regina was terrified of his woman.

"It's my fault." she jumped to Regina's rescue, smiling widely at the woman who finally acknowledged her with a quirk of an eyebrow. "I got horribly lost and Lady Regina was kind enough to get me back to the ballroom like the perfect host she is…" she said sweetly guessing that flattery would get her everywhere with this woman.

"Oh. Good, then…" the woman nodded curtly then turned expectant eyes on her daughter.

"Mother, this is Princess Emma." Regina came to her senses, her manners kicking in and introduced them politely "Princess, this is my mother Cora."

"It's nice to meet you Princess Emma." the woman nodded with a cold smile.

"The pleasure is mine." Emma insisted with a smile. "Your daughter is lovely! I just know she'll make a wonderful queen!" Emma complimented and the icy smile on Cora's face warmed a bit, eyes that were practically seizing Emma up until that moment turning a bit more satisfied.

However Emma saw the way Regina winced at her words and immediately she shot her an apologetic look.

"Yes well, she was born to be a queen…" Cora stated proudly, straightening her back even more if it was possible.

A slightly awkward silence settled over them, Emma trying not to stare at this woman too much and wonder what kind of a mother she could be to Regina. Because judging by the way the brunette's hands are flexed into fists and nervous energy seems to practically radiate out of her Cora Mills was probably not the best mother. Emma couldn't help but have a morbid curiosity in her about why Regina was so afraid of her mother. She thought of her own mom, her warm hearted, kind, smiley mom and then looked at this rigid, strict and to be honest, intimidating woman and just couldn't associate her with the word mother. She tried not to imagine Regina's childhood with this woman. Tried not to think of the fact that this woman forced her daughter to marry the king. Or let her daughter be forced, whichever is the truth…

Regina's heart was thumping in her throat, begging to whatever God there was that her mother didn't suspect anything about Emma. She shuddered just to imagine what Cora would do if she found out about their fervent kiss or the fact that Regina felt like she was starting to develop certain feelings for the princess.  _Love is weakness, Regina._ Her mother's voice echoed in her mind again, calculating and emotionless. She just wanted her mother as far away from Emma as possible, images of Daniel's heart being crushed by strong fingers haunting her.

"Regina darling, the king was looking for you!" Cora said after a moment with a smile directed at her daughter.

"Yes, of course. I must go and find him, excuse me." Regina nodded and without a second glance at either her mother or Emma she took confident, slow steps into the crowd, straining her eyes to catch sight of her…  _fiancé_.

She bit the inside of her cheek and made an effort not to turn back around and look at Emma. She hoped she would be spared from any more introductions or obligatory dances that night and could just stay hidden from view in a corner and talk with the blonde princess. That was what she hoped for when she asked Emma to stay beside her tonight. No chance of that though, she thought bitterly as she spotted King Leopold with a couple of knights.

"Your majesty" she murmured as she sidled in next to the man then she nodded towards his companions. "Sirs"

"Ah, Regina!" Leopold greeted her with a smile. "I was just looking for you."

"Yes, your majesty, so has my mother said." Regina said with a half smile, trying not to keep all hostility she might have felt out of her voice.

"My dear daughter, Snow said she would like to go riding with you tomorrow." the king said and Regina's breath caught in her throat.

"Yes she mentioned to me as well…"

"Wonderful, I will get your horses ready for you along with a small entourage of guards. Can't have the princess and her stepmother be in any danger…" he joked, glancing at the knights who chuckled good naturedly but Regina couldn't seem to put a smile on her face. "You can ride out right after lunch!" Leopold added, turning to Regina once again but for her it was not a permission but rather an order. She knew the king wouldn't make her go with Snow if he knew she didn't want to but her mother, oh she would definitely try to convince her to change her mind in her own, very persuasive manner.

"Yes, your majesty." she nodded obediently and with all her might, she smiled.

Then the king went back to his conversation with the knights and Regina, without a proper way out, the lack of opportunity to excuse herself couldn't do anything but stay beside him and just listen. After a couple of minutes it got absolutely tedious for her though and so she tried to entertain herself without drawing anyone's attention. Her eyes strayed to the colorful mess of dancers doing a difficult combination of steps and formations, couples flowing easily across the dance floor. She admired the princesses and ladies who seemed to float in their huge gowns with the widest of smiles on their faces, seeming perfectly content with their lives.

 _You're going to be queen, that's every girl's dream…_ Her father had told her a few days ago, trying to lighten up her mood a little bit when she fell into a particularly dark place. And it seemed like these women really were happy there. Maybe it was her, maybe something was wrong with her for only wanting one thing in life. True love. Not like she would ever have the chance for that again…

She was still caught up in her thoughts, gazing at the dancers when a sudden and unexpected, barely there touch on her elbow startled her. She felt a body slide in next to her and she snapped her eyes to her left to only to have them widen in surprise and her heart to flutter in delight because she found it was no other than Emma, who sent her a playful wink and the warmest, most tender smile as a way of greeting before she spoke up.

"Your majesty, may I join?" the princess chimed in cheerfully and a bit brazenly with the self confidence of someone who isn't flustered or scared when in the presence of royalty, someone who is very used to talking with kings and queens and princes and princesses.

Regina watched as the king looked practically right through her and at the blonde and a huge grin spread on his face when he recognized the newcomer.

"Emma! Of course, it would be our pleasure, right gentlemen?" Leopold asked from the knights who all nodded and hummed in agreement, one having the audacity to blatantly stare at the princess, making Regina want to punch him hard in the face as a strange wave of protectiveness hit her. "We were just discussing dueling techniques." the king added for the blonde's benefit.

"Techniques? Well all I know is if you want to survive you better stick with the pointy end…" Emma claimed, gaining a hearty burst of laughter from King Leopold and genuine chuckles from the other men. Regina bit her lip to keep from grinning, that was something rather unladylike but she did allow herself a small appreciative smirk.

The conversation went back to its previous course and Regina mostly tuned it out save for the short quips and jokes the blonde at her side provided as a way of participating in the conversation. However when Emma was not subtly making fun of the knights or their subject of talking, her eyes always found the probing ones of Regina and more often than not a pleasant chill ran down the brunette's spine from the smile the princess sent her way.

And true to her word, Emma stayed by her side all evening, somehow managing to stick with her wherever she was dragged, unnoticed and unquestioned. She was next to her at every boring chat she had to endure and she bravely tolerated the sometimes barely covered lustful stares from several men they met. These men didn't dare to ogle Regina, they weren't so insolent as to do that to the king's bride and especially not on their engagement ball in said king's very own castle but nothing stopped them from right out leering at Emma.

The outright shameless gapes made Regina's blood boil though and she had to dig her nails into her palms to keep from expressing her outrage. She couldn't help the small voice at the back of her mind practically snapping at each and every man with gritted teeth: ' _She's mine!'_ Even though she knew that was absurd, Emma wasn't hers, she could never be. If anything she, Regina was owned by someone. But that someone was not Emma. No matter how much she wished it could be her…

And when the night was over, when it was time for Emma and all the other guests to go home Regina followed the princess to the huge, wooden doors and without any hesitation, without a care in the whole world, without worrying of who might see them only driven by the desperation that this might just be the last time she saw her, she pulled Emma into a tight embrace and squeezed their bodies together, trying to let the other girl know how she felt about her without words. She wanted nothing more than to kiss Emma but of course she knew there was no chance for that, they were watched closely both by the blonde's parents and the king and Snow and also a large amount of guards.

And when after that way too long to be called a simple goodbye hug, they reluctantly pulled apart, their hands lingering on each other's arms just for a few more seconds as they gazed into one another's eyes Emma smiled at her reassuringly and surprised her once again with a murmured promise of 'I'll see you on the wedding, Regina. Take care of yourself until then!' and a wink then she turned around and grabbing the sides of her beautiful dress, she jogged down the castle's rock steps after her parents who were waiting for her by their carriage, leaving a speechless Regina behind to watch as she got into the chariot and disappeared from her sight.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi there! Thank you so much for the kudos and comments, it really makes me happy! I hope you'll enjoy the following chapters as well! :)

The next week was long and all sorts of torturous for Regina. She had to spend time with Snow and the little girl's cheerfulness and oblivious eagerness towards her were getting more and more exhausting. She found the sweet smiles and compliments sickening and the girl's attempts at showing her affection suffocating. Besides that she had to get ready for the wedding which was set to be two weeks from the engagement ball. She had to see and try on gown after gown, choose flowers and materials and colors. Of course those things were the last she wished to do but her mother all but forced her to do them, coming with her and supervising all her decisions and being very generous with her opinions and advices despite Regina not asking for them. Snow White, of course as the perfect little princess was on her heels everywhere, chirping charmingly about what  _she_ thought would be the best and Regina had to tolerate her and take her words into consideration since the king didn't take part in the planning at all. He sent his precious Snow to convey his wish and choose in his place.

However, amongst all this, the preparation and planning and her pent up frustration and anger towards Snow White, each day she found herself thinking more and more of a certain blonde princess with radiant green eyes. Ever since they parted whenever she had some time alone or at times when she felt like it was too much and she couldn't take it anymore her mind came back to Emma, the mere thought of the other woman providing an escape from reality that Regina needed more than anything. And every time she craved the blonde's presence by her side, missing her smile, her voice, her playful attitude and the ease with which Emma could make her laugh. And of course, though Regina would never admit it out loud, the way the blonde's soft lips felt against her own.

And so because of this she had absolutely controversial thoughts about her upcoming wedding. On the one hand she couldn't keep Emma's whispered promise of ' _I'll see you on the wedding_ ' out of her head, she couldn't stop herself imagining the moment she would catch a glimpse of the blonde, the smile on the princess's face that would surely light up the whole room. She couldn't press down her anticipation for the moment she could finally see her and talk to her again. But on the other hand she shuddered just to think of what that day would mean for her. For her future. What being the queen, the wife of King Leopold would come with, what that would imply. She wished she could just die whenever she thought about what her life would be from then on.

"Regina darling, what do you think of these vases?" her mother's voice brought her out of her reverie and she turned to see Cora standing in front of a long table with vases of different color, shape and size lined up on it.

She repressed her deep, defeated sigh and her urge to spin on her heel and run out of the room and truly out of the castle and just strode to her mother's side with feigned interest. She ran her eyes over the ceramics, examining each and every one of them carefully just to avoid thinking of Emma again.

"I think they are lovely." she said after a moment and looked up, surprised when she heard her mother snort out a rather condescending chuckle.

"Of course they are, but which ones would be most suitable to decorate the dining tables?" Cora asked with a huff of annoyance like it was troublesome for her to have to spell it out for Regina.

"Oh, I… I think…" she started absent mindedly strolling along the table and pausing before a few vases just for the show when in fact she was wondering which ones the blonde princess would fancy.

She had actually developed this way of picking out various articles and items for her wedding where she imagined which one would Emma choose or like and so she picked that. It saved her from having to pick what she really liked since she had long ago decided that she wouldn't want to see anything on that wedding that  _she_  liked, that  _she_  wanted. No, she only did the whole planning procedure because her mother forced her to. So if she had to do it, she would entertain herself with thoughts of Emma and trying to pick stuff the princess would appreciate when the day came and she finally could see her again. And deep down, though Regina wouldn't allow herself to really acknowledge it, choosing flowers and gowns and decoration that Emma would like made her feel a little bit like she was to marry her and not King Leopold. Like she was, in fact, planning  _their_  wedding and not hers and the king's.

"I believe father would like the blue one with the gold pattern and that flowery vase over there!" came Snow White's chirpy, bright voice from behind her and in the next moment the little girl was standing right next to Regina, looking up at her with a beaming smile on her round face.

Regina resisted the impulse to slap the princess across the face and just fisted her hands briefly to keep from reaching out and smashing said pieces to the opposite wall. She was told that Snow wouldn't be able to join them in the planning because she had lessons to attend and that was really the only part of her day that would be somehow bearable but now that seemed to go flying out the window as well.

"That's a wonderful choice, my dear! You have excellent taste Snow!" Cora praised with a wide smile on her thin lips that Regina just knew to be completely false. "Isn't that right, Regina?" her mother asked her with an expectant edge in her voice and turned to her with a pointed stare and one raised eyebrow, almost like she was mocking her and her suffering.

"Yes, that's right, mother…" she muttered obediently and worked hard to push a smile onto her face for the sake of Snow.

"Terrific! Then we shall have the blue and the flowery vases…" Cora said and a maid came in and took said items from the table. "You pick two as well, Regina dear!" her mother ordered and without sparing them a second glance Regina motioned towards the two closest vases for the maid to take. "Now, let's make that final decision on the wedding gown, my darlings…" Cora said and steered the two girls towards the rack where three white dresses were displayed.

"Oooh it's so exciting!" Snow cheered as she skipped ahead to the dresses, running her hands over each of them in awe. "Isn't it, Regina?" she turned back with sparkling eyes.

"Indeed it is." Regina nodded as she approached and immediately two maids stepped up to the rack and pulled the first dress off and carried it behind a privacy shade.

She followed them without an ounce of enthusiasm and allowed them to help her out of her green dress that she wore for the day. She really liked the dress because it was simple but beautiful at the same time, it reminded her so much of Emma. She watched as it fell to the ground easily, crumpling at her feet before she stepped out of it and turned towards the white gown that seemed to radiate light in the dimness. Compared to her green dress it was flashy and elaborate and way too grand for her liking but it was a wedding gown after all.

The maids pulled it gently up around her but no matter how soft they were, all breath rushed out of her as they tightened her corset. She was very well used to the restriction around her ribcage but they had to use extra tight corsets to fit into those damned wedding dresses and she abhorred it with all her might.

"I'm sorry, your majesty…" the maid murmured apologetically, using the title of a queen already and Regina would have rolled her eyes if it wasn't so hard to even take a single breath.

With a few swift motions the two women fastened the gown around her fully and arranged the layers of the skirt perfectly before stepping back.

"All done." said the brunette maid with a smile, her eyes raking over Regina's form, appreciating the dress and Regina could imagine that the maid had never even touched anything as delicate as this and here she was, having all these beautiful dresses at her disposal and she was just choosing from the tons of gowns for a wedding she didn't even want.

"Thank you!" she nodded with a smile of her own and then she stepped out from behind the shade to see her mother and Snow seated on the couch that was set up just in front of a huge mirror.

"Oh!" Snow's little squeal made her slightly jump, the complete adoration on the little girl's face clearly showing as she leapt off the pillows and rushed forward."You look so breathtaking!" she cooed.

"Thank you, dear." Regina smiled coldly but the princess didn't notice the lack of emotion behind it of course.

"This gown is truly stunning." Cora agreed as she too stood to observe Regina from all sides, walking around her daughter with a pensive, critical expression on her face. "However, this high waist isn't very advantageous for you, dear…" she added, pointing at the top of the fluffy skirts at her waistline with her nose wrinkled in distaste.

"I think it's lovely…" Snow sighed, gazing at the fancy pattern made of sequins and pearls on the bodice.

"No, this won't do." Cora waved her hand dismissively and Regina didn't even bother to take a look at the mirror, she just turned and went back behind the shade, waiting for the maids who hurried after her with the second dress from the rack.

The procedure of getting the dress off and putting the other one on was rather long and meticulous but Regina didn't have to do anything but stand and wait, sometimes lift her arm or twist to the side a little. She let out a relieved sigh when her corset was loosened and she enjoyed the feeling of being able to breathe freely until the short time it lasted before the maids once again pulled the thing tight around her. The second gown was simpler and had an elegantly cut silk bodice and the skirts were made of white tulle, a pretty line of sparkly gems separating the two sides. Regina actually found she liked this one, despite the fact that she could barely breathe in it. She was pretty sure Emma would find it nice as well so that was an added plus…

"It's done, your majesty..." one of the maids subtly reminded her when even after they stepped back from her, Regina only stood motionlessly, staring into space, deep in though.

"Right, thank you!" she nodded, repressing her blush the best she could and instead she just walked out to the mirror.

This time she did take a good, long look at herself in the mirror and she couldn't help the flutter of small butterflies in her stomach as she took it all in. It was indeed gorgeous and even though she never tended to be vain she could recognize that the dress suited her perfectly. She really looked good in it. A smile sneaked its way across her lips as she imagined Emma's expression, mouth agape, forest green eyes wide as the blonde saw her.

"No, no… I don't even get it why this was chosen in the first place!" Cora huffed behind her and Regina's smile dissipated instantly. "There is way too much tulle…" her mother said and she felt a hand ruffling the material at her bottom in annoyance. "You aren't twelve anymore, dear!" Cora stated and without further comment she strode back to the couch and plopped down on it daintily.

"But mother…" Regina started as she turned fully around to face the woman. "I like this one…" she tried shyly, knowing it was a mistake to let her mother now of her genuine feelings but she couldn't help it. The image of the blonde princess's stunned smile was etched into her brain.

Her mother just looked at her with a raised eyebrow, not even glancing down at the dress, clearly not willing to change her mind about it and Regina had to restrain herself from stomping her foot like a child. It was not fair that her mother would still order her around and decide everything in her life.

"I like it too!" Snow chimed in, obviously not sensing the tension between mother and daughter even though to Regina it was almost palpable in the room.

"Yes? Well perhaps we shall have a dress like that made for you then, dear…" Cora told the little girl though her eyes, cold as ice never left Regina's. The brunette knew that her mother was only saying that to punish Regina for disobeying her, but she made up her mind, she wasn't giving her mother the pleasure of seeing how it affected her, she wouldn't let it show.

Without another word she spun on her heel and went back behind the shade, trying really hard not to think about anything that was happening. Trying really hard not to think about how she was forced into a marriage, how her mother was dominating her life, how she had absolutely no choice. How she more and more resembled an object and not a living person. She made an effort to make her brain as blank as she could and instead she set her mind on one thing, on the only thing that still kept her sane, on the sole person with whom she felt like herself. Emma. She concentrated on the blonde as the maids peeled the beautiful dress off her and helped her into another pompous gown with embroidery and sequins and little diamonds on it. It was nice but it didn't come even close to the previous one. This time she didn't even hiss when the corset fully enclosed her ribcage, gripping ferociously she just took it, holding her chin a bit higher.

She stepped out to stand in front of her mother, whose face instantly bloomed with a smile, nodding contentedly as she watched Regina.

"Yes, this is it! This is perfect!" she murmured approvingly.

"This is so amazing! You are truly the fairest of them all!" Snow wondered aloud, admiration shining in her eyes as she tiptoed around Regina excitedly to see the dress from all angles.

"This gown is worthy of the Queen you will be, Regina dear!" her mother announced and waved her hand slightly, practically dismissing her and Regina felt her shoulder slump a bit in a defeated way. "Go now, change back into your dress we still have a lot to do..." Cora told her and if Regina didn't know any better she would have mistaken the emotion in her mother's tone for affection. But like this she was rather sure that what she heard was only her mother's satisfaction and approval of Regina's submission and of how everything around the wedding went as Cora liked.

She stalked back to the maids who worked without a word and Regina could vaguely see sympathy and just a hint of pity in their eyes as they regarded her before they quickly averted their gazes. The wedding dress was soon off and one of the maids touched her hand lightly to guide her arm into the sleeve of the green dress. As the material embraced her body Regina allowed some of the tension seep out of her and ease away as the dress once again reminded her of Emma.

She sighed deeply as her corset was loosened, enjoying the way her ribs could expand a bit. She bit her lip distractedly. Never had she missed Emma this much since the ball. She really had to compose all her strength not to break down and cry at the hopelessness of her situation. It really was ridiculous and she knew it, to be this upset because she wouldn't get to wear the dress she fancied. She swore she wouldn't want anything she really liked on that wedding anyways, but still she couldn't help the little girl deep down inside who felt betrayed and like a huge injustice was done to her. And really it was all kinds of unfair but Regina learned to take it like a big girl. But somehow the gown was the last straw, she knew she couldn't take it anymore. She would go completely crazy if she had to bear all this by herself, all alone and not having anyone to comfort her. Not having anyone with whom she could be free of all troubles and forget all her responsibilities and just be herself.

She needed Emma. And she needed the blonde princess now. She didn't want to be a complete mess, a wreck by the time they saw each other again…

And so as the maids buttoned up the back of her dress she desperately raked her mind for a solution. First she came up all empty, her thoughts always circuiting back to her mother and how she would see through anything she tried and would probably not even second guess hurting Emma if she found out about… Well about everything that happened between the blonde and herself. But just as she was about to give up, deeming it impossible, any attempts futile and resign herself to the fate of going insane something popped up from the back of her mind.

It was rather ironic, how the thought came to her while she took one more glance at that stunning gown her mother found unworthy and childish for a queen's wedding as the maid carried it out from behind the shade. How the source of that idea was one, in fact rather childish and stubborn thought in her head, a rare rebellious one that was no other than  _I_ _ **will**_ _have that dress on my wedding no matter what Mother says, if it is the last thing I do…_

"Wait! Don't take that away, please!" she called after the maid quietly who halted and turned back towards her with a questioning expression.

"Your majesty?" she asked hesitantly.

"I will need that gown, don't take it away just yet please…" she stated calmly despite the inner brainstorm she was having as her plan formed in her head.

"I'm sorry, your majesty, I thought your mother said that gown would be the one…" the maid said, pointing to the third dress that was draped out on a chair.

"I will need both of them." Regina said, sounding so confident and no nonsense that there was no room for argument. Truly, her mother would have been proud, it was the tone of a real queen, Regina thought briefly in amusement. "You can take that one away. Thank you." she nodded towards the first dress and then without waiting a second, she stepped out from behind the shade.

She spotted her mother and Snow waiting for her on the couch and she strode towards them with the same air of confidence, anger and frustration fuelling her steps, helplessness boiling in her veins and the wild fluttering of nervous excitement in her stomach urging her on. If her plan worked… If she could only pull it off calm enough… She would get to see Emma sooner than the wedding. But she had to be very smart about it, she knew that.

"Mother I would like to have bridesmaids." she announced as she approached and she had to bite back a smirk at the startled and suspicious expression on her mother's face. She could clearly see the request caught the older woman off guard.

"Of course, dear, I will call for two maids to be at your side on the ceremony if that's what you'd like!" Cora nodded with a smile, watching her daughter with apprehension in her eyes.

"No, that's not what I meant. They would not be maids like that. Bridesmaids are not servants, they are mostly the friends of the bride." she informed her mother, trying hard to keep a straight face when she saw a wrinkle appear between Cora's eyebrows.

"Friends?" her mother asked back doubtfully and Regina nodded with a smile of her own.  _Play it smart, Regina_ , she reminded herself. "Sweetheart I don't think your friends from our estate would be…hmm… fitting for a royal wedding." Cora said, trying to be subtle with her offense. She had never made a secret of her dislike for Regina's friends when she was a child. She never liked her playing with the servant's kids and 'other peasants' as she so often called them.

"Why not?" Snow's innocent question sounded from beside Cora and as Regina glanced at the girl, a brilliant idea came to her mind and for a moment she was grateful for the princess's presence after all.

"Because they are not princesses and princes like your friends, Snow." Regina said, the hard edge in her voice only noted by her mother who let out a tiny sneer. "But that's alright, I wasn't thinking about them either…" Regina continued and looked back at her mother fully.

"I don't think you need anyone else, dear. You have maids at your service, you have Snow here and me. We can help you." Cora said and her stare was almost challenging as she held her eyes. Regina felt like a mouse cornered, like a cage was slowly descending upon her, like the control of this situation was slipping out of her hands and it was quite terrifying up she hadn't played her ace yet so she wouldn't back down she just let a smile spread on her face as she tore her eyes away from her mother's.

"Snow, dear! Would you like to be my bridesmaid?" she asked of the little girl who immediately sat straighter, her eyes alight with excitement.

"What does a bridesmaid do?" she asked with a grin.

"They help and support the bride in everything. You are practically one now but this way you would get a pretty dress and if you agreed, you could be my flower girl…" Regina smiled, tempting the little girl sweetly.

"A flower girl?" Snow's eyes sparkled like diamonds as she shifted in her seat.

"Yes dear, the youngest bridesmaid who sprinkles petals before the bride…" Regina wasn't sure about the rules of weddings, she only heard about bridesmaids one when she was younger so she was just making it up for Snow, hoping against hope the girl would take the bait.

"Yes! I would love to be your bridesmaid!" Snow beamed at her, finally not being able to stay seated so she jumped up and launched herself forward, hugging Regina tightly.

"That's wonderful!" Regina said, hugging the girl back and fixing her eyes on her little form in order not to look into her mother's eyes with a victorious expression she was sure she had on her face now.

"So your mother will be your bridesmaid as well?" Snow asked.

"Oh no…She cannot be. They have to be maidens. And also my mother has the important role of Mother of the bride." Regina explained patiently then she looked up at her mother, straight into her eyes as she continued. "My other two bridesmaids will be Princess Abigail, daughter of King Midas and Princess Emma, from the Swan kingdom."


	7. Chapter 7

The sun was high on the sky when the two carriages rolled into the castle. Regina and Snow, who had been all over the place for days from excitement, were waiting on the front staircase. The little girl was buzzing with energy, her young face stretched into a huge smile and even the usually calm and put together Regina felt the nervous butterflies in her stomach. On any other day, with any other occasion she would have made sure not to show any real emotion on her face but today she allowed a tiny smile to grace her features. One of those carriages was bringing Emma to her and she couldn't wait to see the blonde.

The first carriage seemed to be made of gold, glistening in the sunlight, decorated with flowery patterns along the sides. The second was white and had feathery patterns on it as well as a drawn swan on the side of the door. Both were drawn by four white horses.

They pulled up and stopped just in front of the steps and Snow squirmed in place, struggling to keep from running down the steps to greet their guests. And for once Regina could feel for the girl because she could barely stay where she was, the pull towards the white chariot so strong that she reached out and rested her hand on the stone banister to resist it, to avoid forgetting about where she was. Because she was sure that even though Cora turned down the offer to receive the guests with them, her mother was watching them from one of the windows. She could almost feel the woman's eyes on herself but she refrained from turning around to check if she was right.

She didn't realize she was holding her breath until it all rushed out of her once the doors to both carriages flew open and she caught glimpse of a familiar blonde mane emerging from the second one.

Two guards stepped up to the golden chariot, holding helpful hands out to Princess Abigail, who gracefully took them and landed on the ground. Emma however hopped off the folding step with ease before the guards could even approach her, not nearly as graceful but all the more beautiful for Regina.

Her attention was drawn from Emma's form by Princess Abigail who walked towards her with a pleasant smile on her face.

"Your majesty! Princess Snow!" she greeted them, curtseying politely. "Thank you for honoring me with your request!" she said warmly to Regina who nodded at her with a smile.

"Thank you for accepting it!" she said as she reached out and pulled the young woman into a loose hug, surprising the princess at first but then Abigail relaxed and hugged her back. "And please call me Regina!" she said as they parted.

Back on the engagement ball there weren't many princesses and queens she talked to besides Emma but when she came up with the idea of bridesmaids she knew it would be too suspicious to only ask for the blonde so she searched her mind to find someone else who she would like to have at her side for these days to come. And so she remembered Princess Abigail, who from the brief introduction and little chat they had seemed like a nice enough young woman. Regina remembered she didn't stuck her nose up in the air, she wasn't arrogant, she seemed to be head over heels in love with a knight named Frederic though and the hopeful sparkle in her eyes reminded Regina of herself and how she felt about Daniel once…

And now that Abigail was here she decided she might as well treat her like a friend. Bridesmaids were supposed to be the bride's friends after all.

"Thank you!" the princess murmured with a smile then she moved aside to stand by Snow just as Emma stepped up the stairs as well.

"Your majesty!" she drawled out with a mischievous glint in her eye, only meant for Regina to see since their eyes locked instantly.

"Hello Emma!" she smirked at the blonde playfully, delighted by the way the princess's eyes seemed to be glued to her form, taking her in, running up and down her body as if she couldn't get enough of seeing Regina. It was exactly how she felt about seeing Emma again and it caused a weird fluttering in her heart to know that the feeling was mutual.

Then like the complete reverse of the hug with Abigail where Regina was the one to pull the princess into the embrace, Emma simply moved forward, like she was pulled by some higher force and she threw her arms around Regina, drawing her to herself tightly, her hands settling on her lower back.

"Did you miss me so badly, Regina?" Emma breathed into her ear teasingly, her chin resting on the shoulder further away from the two other princesses so that they didn't hear her but even like that Regina felt her cheeks heat up at getting caught by the blonde. She didn't think her plan would be so transparent.

"So what if I was…?" she asked back in a challenging whisper, digging her fingers slightly into the material of Emma's green cloak.

"Good, 'coz I did too!" Emma murmured as she started to break apart from her reluctantly and when Regina could finally look at her there was a huge grin on the blonde's lips.

And God did those lips tempt Regina… She felt a magnetic pull towards Emma and her pink lips. She wished nothing more than to just lean in and press her own lips up against those soft ones.

"Princess Emma!" came Snow White's cheery voice, breaking Regina out of her stance and she sucked in a sharp breath as she completely let go of Emma's arms, realizing that she almost gave into the temptation to kiss her. If it weren't for the little girl's exclamation snapping her back to reality and reminding her of other people's presence she might have just grabbed the blonde and kissed her senseless.

"Princess Snow, how are you?" Emma greeted the girl with the sweetest of smiles and she bent down to her level, embracing her warmly as well.

It was a slight stab to Regina's heart to see that the blonde genuinely seemed to like Snow White. But then again, she realized they probably knew each other longer than Regina knew any of them seeing as Emma's parents and King Leopold were good friends so she couldn't take it personally. And it wasn't like she ever told Emma about her feelings towards Snow and certainly not the reason behind them. Maybe one day though. So she just watched wordlessly as the two hugged and then Emma started to lightly tickle the little girl, sending her into waves of squealing and giggles as she wiggled her way out of Emma's reach and ran away into the palace, the blonde princess chasing her with a loud laugh of her own.

She looked after them, her lips curling up a bit at the edges as she saw Emma's adorable jog down the huge hall as she gave Snow time to get ahead and escape. She glanced back above her shoulder once, looking straight at Regina with a wink before she took off, fastening her steps again as she yelled out something for Snow, who answered in another excited scream from somewhere further down the hall.

The sound of a chuckle reminded her that she was still not alone and she looked to her right where Princess Abigail was standing, turned towards the entrance of the palace with a grin on her lips too. Then the blonde moved to look at Regina, still smiling and she motioned towards the door.

"I guess, shall we your…Regina?" she asked, correcting herself quickly and averting her eye shyly.

"Yes, we shall." she nodded with a smile and started walking up the stairs with Abigail at her side.

* * *

Regina didn't get a second alone with Emma for the rest of the day.

The bridesmaids got to join Regina for her fitting in the afternoon and she couldn't help but watch Emma's reaction as soon as she stepped out from behind the privacy shade. It was the dress her mother chosen, yes, but she was curious of the blonde's reaction nonetheless. And she wasn't disappointed. Emma's eyes bulged out, her lips falling slightly open as she took her in from head to toe. She almost laughed as she saw her blink several times before she closed her mouth and visibly took a deep breath. And when a timid, shaky 'You look beautiful' made it to her ears from Emma, she suddenly didn't hate the dress that much anymore.

After the fitting Regina showed Emma and Abigail the dress they would be wearing on the wedding, which was no other than her second wedding dress option, only in a different color and just slightly modified to look less like a wedding gown. Snow would also get one, made just for her in small size. Much to Regina's relief both blondes seemed to love the dress and she felt victorious for kind of outsmarting her mother for once. She would indeed have that dress on her wedding, just not on herself. But she was sure it would fit Emma like a glove…

Soon the afternoon passed and night fell and it was time for the women and Snow to have dinner with the King and Regina's parents. Just like at every meal since they arrived in the castle, Regina was seated at King Leopold's left side, with Snow on his right and Emma sat next to the little girl, almost right across from Regina. The brunette could barely even focus on her food, her eyes constantly straying to the princess who kept sneaking glances and knowing little smirks her way. Her mother had to clear her throat twice before Regina noticed that a servant was waiting next to her to take her plate and she blushed furiously when she realized she had been too caught up in her thoughts of a certain blonde to realize it.

After dinner was finished the king welcomed the guests with a few kind words and thanked them for honoring his wedding and helping his future bride. And as soon as he said his goodnights Regina almost leapt out of her chair and ran out of the hall and to her bedchambers, eager to finally be alone with her thoughts of Emma. She didn't need her mother's questioning or Snow's pestering. But of course a proper lady never ran around the castle so she strode as fast and as agilely as she could.

When she made it to her room she closed the door behind herself and leaned onto it for a few moments, taking a breath and allowing herself a little smile before she pushed off of the door and went further into the chamber.

A servant girl came out of the bathroom and quietly told her that her bath was awaiting so she wordlessly went after her and let the two maids waiting for her help her out of her dress and into the hot water. They washed her hair and gently bathed her as she tried to suppress her self-consciousness in front of them. Back home she rarely ever had servants to help her with something as fundamental as bathing but here they were waiting for her every night, silently and obediently. All quick, soft hands and averted eyes.

Regina wasn't sure if she was even allowed to tell them no, to ask them to leave her on her own. So she didn't. She just sat there and let them do their jobs.

They wrapped her in a huge white towel and left without so much as a glance back. On her first night, Regina was so stunned by all this that she wandered around her towel for more than half an hour, trying to figure out if she was supposed to dress up alone or if she should wait for other servants to come and dress her. She found the night gown laid out on her enormous four poster bed and when nobody came into her chambers she simply put it on and went to sleep. And each night after that, the nightgown was there on her bed when the maids left, already waiting for her by the time she made it out of the bathroom.

So just like every night, Regina dried herself off slowly, taking her time then she went to her bed and slipped on the silky, loose nightgown. Then she plopped down on her bed, sighing softly as she gazed out at the starry night through the balcony door. That was her little nightly routine. Dry off, put on nightgown then sit on the bed and watch the stars, thinking about everything and nothing until she fell asleep.

Like so many times during these past few weeks, her mind immediately went to one subject that was no other than Emma. Her stomach tightened excitedly as she reminded herself that tonight the blonde would sleep only a few chambers away from her. She couldn't believe that Emma was finally here. That she would get to see her and talk to her whenever she wanted up until her wedding. The wedding, that was as far as she was willing to think ahead because she didn't dare think about what would happen after that day. But no matter what happened after that, she would enjoy Emma's presence until she could, cherish every moment with the blonde and hopefully find a way for them to spend some time alone. Just the two of them… Regina couldn't help but smile as she imagined walks in the gardens, talking under that beautiful apple tree, secret meetings and stolen kisses after sundown in a hidden corner of the palace. They would have to be very careful though. Her mother could never find out about them because if she did… A shudder ran though Regina, her smile disappearing as tears unexpectedly welled up in her eyes.

She blinked them away after a long, agonizing moment and she swallowed as she let her eyes travel the night sky again. Emma was here now, that was all that mattered. Everything else,  _anything_ else they could deal with together. It was strange even to Regina how completely and utterly she trusted the blonde even though most of their interactions were teasing and full of banter.

Her thoughts were interrupted by three quiet knocks on her door and her eyes snapped towards the sound, her heart beating faster as she wondered who it might be. Maybe one of the maids. Or Snow. Or her mother. Though she wasn't so sure the latest would even bother knocking…

She got off her bed and made her way across her chamber to the door, hesitating only a second before she pulled it open just a tiny bit. Just enough for her to see through the gap and find out who it was.

When she saw the golden locks and a pair of vibrant forest green eyes peeking at her through the gap she relaxed and opened the door further with a smile.

"Emma…" she whispered, not exactly a question, not really a greeting either. Her heart was thumping wildly in her throat.

"Are you alone?" the blonde asked in a quiet, sheepish tone, shifting from one foot to the other.

"Of course I am." Regina nodded with a chuckle. "Do you want to come in?" she asked invitingly, hoping that Emma would accept.

"Yes." she smiled and there was a wicked sparkle in her eyes that Regina couldn't decipher.

Not until Emma took a confident step forward, practically crashing into her and pushing her further into her room and the blonde cupped her face with one hand and wound her other hand around Regina's waist, pulling her flush against herself as she placed her lips firmly on hers. Emma's kiss was sweet and eager, her lips moving slowly against Regina's for long minutes until she pulled back.

"Hi!" the princess breathed out, resting her forehead on Regina's as they both gasped for air.

"Hey!" the brunette chuckled, nuzzling Emma's nose.

"God, I've been wanting to do this all day…" Emma sighed happily, stroking Regina's cheek with her thumb lovingly, making her blush slightly.

"Me too…" she admitted with a smile, pecking the blonde's lips once more, staying there motionlessly with her lips against Emma's, her eyes closed in bliss. She pulled her head back after a while and took a step backwards into the chamber, grasping both of Emma's hands as they slipped from her body. "Do you want to stay a bit?" she asked the blonde, who followed her, entwining their hands as Regina closed the door after them and lead her to the bed.

When Emma noticed where they were headed she let out an amused chuckle and as Regina glanced at her she arched her eyebrow at the brunette teasingly. It took her a moment to catch up but when it occurred to Regina what the blonde implied a deep crimson blush covered her cheeks and her heart started to race in her chest. She rolled her eyes with a huff though and smirked at Emma.

"Mind out of the gutter, princess! We're going to be watching stars…" she murmured and pulled Emma to the edge of her bed, plopping down and scooting back to the headboard, still clutching the blonde's hand and urging her to do the same. And soon they were sitting side by side on Regina's huge bed with the brunette's head resting on Emma's shoulder, gazing out the balcony doors in silence. Together.


	8. Chapter 8

"Emma I can't do this!" Regina cried out desperately two nights later as she practically stormed into the bedchamber of the other woman. She knew the blonde would come to her, just like she did each night since she arrived, but she couldn't restrain herself, couldn't stay in one place and wait around till Emma arrived. She just couldn't repress the panic that flared up in her chest as soon as in a weak moment she allowed herself to fully comprehend what she was about to do in two days. When it occurred to her just what it would mean to be married to King Leopold.

"Can't do what?" came the familiar voice from the bathroom and Regina paused momentarily, realizing that it was probable Emma was not alone. After all her own maids just left ten minutes ago...

"Umm..." she hesitated, shifting from foot to foot, trying to come up with a reasonable excuse for the servants to hear.

"What's wrong?" came Emma's worried voice again and the princess emerged from the room, already in her nightgown with wet curls framing her face. Regina's breath got caught in her throat for a second because she looked so perfect in that moment. Natural beauty they say... Well Emma looked like an Angel.

"Are you alone?" Regina asked quietly, moving into the room to see for herself.

"Of course, I sent the maid away a few minutes ago!" Emma smiled and took a step closer to Regina, hips swaying from side to side as she eyed the brunette intently. "It's just you and me, your majesty!" she winked flirtily and Regina would have laughed if that title didn't cause icy dread to curse through her entire existence. Emma must have noticed her shudder because her teasing eyes turned serious in an instant. "What is it, Regina?" she asked, concern evident in her tone.

"I can't marry him, Emma! I can't do it!" the brunette said with wild eyes and a trembling voice. "He's old and I'm sure he's a nice man but he could very well be my own father, I can't help it but even the thought of being his wife disgusts me. I know I should be so happy because I get to be a Queen but I don't want it. I just don't! And certainly not at this price... And to think that I would have to bear his children, get him a son it makes me sick!" by the time Regina finished her little outburst she broke out in tears, her sobs shaking her whole body violently.

"Hey hey it's okay! It's okay!" Emma murmured soothingly, moving towards her and wrapping her arms around the brunette protectively. She stroked Regina's back softly and Regina pressed her face into the damp blonde tresses.

"No it's not!" she cried, her voice cracking. "I have to marry him..." she sobbed, sniffling and hiccupping as it seemed to overwhelm her and push her to the verge of hysteria.

"No you don't. I'm here, we'll run away. Together. We'll run away, okay?" Emma spoke into her ear gently but with a certainty in her voice that made Regina pull back to look at her with wide, teary eyes. "You don't have to marry him..." she whispered with a smile and leaned forward to press a sweet kiss against the still trembling brunette's lips.

For a long minute Regina's mind was racing with the idea. Even just the thought that Emma would do this for her, give up everything, her life as a princess, her parents, her future just so Regina wouldn't be forced into this marriage stunned her beyond belief.

But then she allowed herself to picture it, a life with Emma, though lived hidden in the shadows but always adventurous and full of love and happiness. She wouldn't have to see Snow White ever again, she wouldn't have to worry about marrying Leopold, she would finally be free.

Or would she? Her perfect pictures of a happy future were tainted by the thought of her mother. No, there was no doubt in Regina's mind that Cora would find them and punish them cruelly. She would probably kill Emma and that thought only made Regina's heart clench, her plans and dreams crumbling one by one.

"We can't…" she muttered hoarsely, tucking a strand of blonde hair behind Emma's ear.

"Of course we can!" Emma said with a smile and the brunette could see that she was already planning everything in her head, getting all excited and it was both heartbreaking and endearing at the same time.

"My mother…she would never let us do that." Regina sighed.

"What do you mean your mother wouldn't let us? We would just sneak out at night, leave when the guards are switching places, nobody would even notice..." Emma said with such confidence that Regina had a suspicion the blonde had already done something like that. Or at the very least thought about it a lot. And the sparkle in her eyes made Regina hate herself that she would have to break her hopes down.

But she knew that she had to come clean, she had to tell Emma the truth. The princess deserved that much. Also the brunette thought nothing else could really deter Emma from her plan.

"Emma... my mother would notice. She would probably catch us before we can leave the castle grounds..." she started just a bit hesitantly.

"I'm very good at sneaking around. I mean seriously Regina I'm like a freaking ninja!" Emma stage whispered with a grin and the brunette bit back a giggle, pursing her lips.

"Emma my mother has magic." she said finally, clear and calm, just a plain fact.

And really it should only be a fact about her mother, like how her hair was brown or how her favorite color if she even had one was blue. But it wasn't because Cora's ability to do magic was what made Regina's whole life as it was. Her mother's magic ruined her from childhood as Cora used it to get her will every time. She used it to punish and she used it to convince or more like force others to do what she wanted. It was what gave her power and authority and she never missed a time to practice it. Cora's magic was practically the driving force in Regina's life so she couldn't regard it as a mere fact.

She didn't show any emotion towards it any longer, she long ago learned to repress her fear and anger and just act neutral when her mother's magic came up. She learned that no matter how many times she would tell her mother that she hated it when she used magic on her, how horrible it made her feel, how she wished her mother would stop doing it... Cora never listened to her wishes.

"Yes, so? Does she have a tracking spell on you or what?" Emma asked with a hint of sarcasm in her voice but Regina didn't smile.

"Not that I know of...but now that you mention it she might." the brunette admits with a slight blush. And really she didn't know why she was blushing. She shouldn't feel embarrassed about her mother in front of Emma. She knew the blonde wouldn't judge her, she knew she wouldn't think any less of her but she also didn't want Emma's pity.

What surprised though that there was no such thing in the princess's eyes. She saw anger, yes. She saw a flash of protectiveness. And something like determination. But in the end, Emma's mouth curved into a soft smile and she let out a chuckle before her arms tightened around Regina.

"If so, I'll just have to kiss you to make the spell disappear. You know, true love's kiss and all…" she whispered and Regina's heart skipped a beat at her wording before it started to flutter madly. Emma leaned in and her eyes slipped shut, the feeling of sweet lips pressed against hers made her forget everything for a moment.

"It only works for curses, Emma…" she laughed breathlessly when they pulled back and the blonde rolled her eyes.

"Nothing's good for ya, I see…" she teased, making Regina laugh even more then her face clouded over when her thoughts circled back to her problems.

"I tried escaping once, Emma… She had these tree branches grab me and hang me up in the air just before I reached the edge of the grounds. I can't leave. Even if we somehow, miraculously found a way out…she would easily find me with her magic. And if she found you with me…She would kill you, Emma." she murmured stroking the other woman's cheek tenderly with her thumb. "I can't let that happen." she shook her head.

"She would do that to you? She really would physically force you to do something you don't want to?" Emma asked, bewilderment clear on her face.

"It wouldn't be the first time…" Regina muttered with a bitter smirk and when she met Emma's eyes she saw a deep, dark fury in them that she had never ever seen on the princess before. It was both unsettling and causing butterflies in her stomach.

"She can't do that!" Emma cried out, her hands gripping the brunette's hips with more strength than necessary.

"Sadly she can… I have no choice but to stay and marry the king…" Regina sighed, casting her eyes down because saying those words out loud made her feel the weight of them. The reality of them. She really had no choice.

"I'm sorry, Regina. I wish we could do something…" Emma told her and at hearing the blonde's sad, resigned voice Regina felt a wave of hopelessness wash over her. Tears gathered in her eyes and no matter how hard she tried to blink them away, moments later one salty tear escaped and slipped down her cheek. "Hey…Don't cry! Look at me!" Emma urged, cradling her face in both her hands so she could tilt her head upwards. "I wish we could do something but we will work this out even like this. I'm here for you, Regina!"

"Yes, but after the wedding… I'm all alone." her voice broke and she pushed her face into Emma's shoulder to hide her desperate tears.

"No you aren't." Emma murmured to her gently. "I'll stay. We'll find a way so I can stay here with you…"

"You would do that for me?" she asked, teary eyes widening, mind working to grasp the idea.

"Of course I would." Emma whispered and something just snapped inside of Regina, the enormity of the blonde's offer, her sacrifice hitting her and overwhelming her instantly.

She launched herself at Emma, pressing her lips against hers with bruising ferocity and an insatiable passion. She was giving as much as she was demanding, pouring every ounce of her gratitude and each little thing she was feeling into that kiss.

* * *

"I got it! I figured it out!" Emma yelled excitedly as she burst into the chamber where Regina's last fitting was taking place. She just frantically interrogated the maids to find out where the brunette could be so she could share her fantastic idea with her immediately.

She stopped short when she spotted Regina standing on a platform with her back to her, watching herself in a big mirror. Even though Emma was told this would be the brunette's final fitting of her wedding dress, she was shocked to find that Regina was not wearing said gown. Or well if it was that dress then there was much adjustment done to it. Though when Emma took a few steps closer and got a better look at the dress, she realized that it was actually the same dress Regina showed them, the same dress by which their bridesmaid dresses were made.

"Oh Regina…" she breathed as she came to stop by the woman.

Regina didn't look at her, her eyes were fixed on her own reflection in the floor-length mirror.

"You look breathtaking." Emma murmured, her eyes never leaving the brunette's frame, stomach tightening at the heartbroken expression on her face.

"I love this dress." Regina said, her voice quiet and weak. "But my mother wanted the other one."

"That's why you chose it…for us?"

"For you, yes. I wanted to see you in it, whenever I look at you that day and believe me I will look at you a lot!" Regina said, a tiny smile curling her lips upward as she finally tore her eyes away from the mirror. "What did you want to tell me?" she asked, changing the subject easily as she turned completely away from the mirror and moved off the podium.

"Well, I figured out how I could stay here with you. It's really a genius plan, you'll see!" Emma said with a childlike enthusiasm and Regina chuckled.

"Okay, do tell me then." she nodded then she turned her back towards Emma and hesitantly glanced at her above her shoulder. "Could you help me take this off while you tell me, though? I sent the maids away. I don't want my mother to know…"

"Uh, sure." Emma agreed, hands feeling clammy all of a sudden as she raised them to the laces on the back.

She worked quickly despite her fingers trembling a bit because really, she was undressing Regina and even though the context was not what one would assume, this was something that she was nervous about. Of course, the brunette wouldn't be naked but still Emma had never seen much of her bare skin and it made her mouth go dry, her heart fluttering. She unlaced the corset-like back of the gown, her fingers only slipping a couple of times, her heart skipping a beat with every inch of new olive skin revealed.

"Emma?" Regina asked quietly after a moment and Emma let go of the laces instantly as if they burnt her fingers and her breath hitched, afraid she had somehow crossed a line.

"Yeah?" she asked, biting her lower lip.

"You were about to tell me something, weren't you?" Regina asked with a hint of amusement in her tone and even though she had her back to Emma, the blonde knew exactly that there was a teasing smirk painted across her beautiful features.

"Right, right. Sorry… got a little…" she trailed off absent mindedly, her hands moving back up on their own accord, settling on Regina's hips comfortably.

"Excited?" Regina supplied with a chuckle, looking at her over her shoulder with sparkling eyes.

"I was gonna say distracted." Emma replied with a roll of her eyes and she tugged one last time on the back of the dress, which fell open completely with that movement, the material falling off Regina's body and crumpling on the floor.

None of them seemed to care about the state of the gown though as Regina slowly turned around, only in a corset and underskirt, all smooth flesh and blushed cheeks and invitingly pump lips and Emma's eyes wandered over her long toned legs and those little hills over the top of the corset. She was mesmerizing.

Regina blinked up at her with dilated pupils from under her lashes, lips slightly agape as she trailed her fingertips up Emma's arms until she could tangle them in loose blonde curls and she took handfuls of it, pulling the other woman to her with an urgency in her eyes. Hungry lips devoured Emma's and the princess caught up easily, kissing back eagerly, moaning into Regina's mouth as her strong arms encircled the brunette's bare hips.

The air around them got thicker as the kiss heated up and escalated quickly, their bodies pressing up against one another, hands roaming everywhere, trying to reach and pull more and more to bring the other impossibly closer. Moans and gasps broke the silence of the chamber as lips slid against each other, tongues dueling passionately. Regina stepped out of the gown completely, body molding into Emma's as she slipped her hands down the blonde's backside and palmed her bottom, making her gasp in surprise. The brunette pulled back with an evil smirk, tugging Emma's bottom lip between her teeth to nibble on it lightly before she let go of it and pressed her lips into the creamy skin of Emma's neck.

Emma blindly groped her way up Regina's ribcage, finally finding her breasts and she grabbed them gently, enjoying the way Regina froze a bit at first contact, the shot of pleasure stunning her momentarily. She too nibbled on the brunette's neck and collarbone before she murmured into her skin.

"So you interested in my plan or what?" her voice was hoarse but still carried a teasing lilt.

"I'm interested in more than your plan, dear…" Regina groaned as Emma kissed her once more then pulled back a bit to be able to look at her properly. "Fine, I'm listening." Regina said with a little pout that was absolutely adorable.

"Good. Not that I was complaining or anything but… Anybody could have walked in on us and I'm pretty sure we wouldn't have noticed. It's dangerous. " Emma said, for once being the sound of reason and Regina though she hated to admit it, knew the blonde was right so she just cocked her head forward a bit, motioning for Emma to continue. "So I guessed since I will be a queen one day and you're about to be one… I mean, you know from Sunday you'll officially be a queen, we could say I want to stay by your side to learn how to do it… As your maid-of-honour maybe." Emma said with sparkling eyes, clearly satisfied with her idea.

Regina thought for a long moment, running the idea through her head several times, searching for any flaws, any mistakes in it, anything that could blow up in their faces. She imagined it, observed it from various angles and knew that her mother would surely find it suspicious or at least she would have some arguments against it, but Regina realized that by then she would be a queen. And queens basically do whatever they wanted, their mothers don't really have power over them… A smile curved her pursed lips upwards as she imagined having Emma beside her each day for a long time. Until the blonde herself became queen. And Emma had no intention of getting married just yet and her parents weren't pressuring her either, so it might just be a very long time. Years even. The thought of years with Emma got her excited as well, a beam brightening her whole face.

"Okay. I think that could work…" she murmured in awe and giggled when Emma grinned victoriously and punched the air.

"Yes!" the blonde hissed happily before gathering Regina into her arms again and lifting her a bit she spun her around. "I'll stay with you!" she whispered into her ear.

"You'll stay with me…" Regina repeated, not quite believing it herself just yet.

Then Emma put her down, their faces flushed, eyes gleaming with glee and their lips found each other once more, this time their kiss sweet and gentle. And they stayed in their little heaven, their alcove of peace in that embrace and in that kiss, sharing happiness and love freely until the sound of Snow's shouting from the corridor startled them, making them fly apart with blushes and silent giggles when the voice came again, this time much louder, meaning its owner got closer.

"REGIINAAAAAA!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Any and all feedback is much appreciated!


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! Thank you so much for the kudos, they really make me happy! I hope you like the story! :)

The wedding's day came and found Regina sitting on the edge of her huge bed, clutching the comforter next to her in a dead grip and staring ahead with wild, crazy eyes. Her chest was heaving, her stomach twisting and she was just a hair's width away from vomiting right there and then. She sucked in one sharp breath after the other, trying desperately to calm her racing heart but failing miserably at the task. Her mind was spiraling down into a dark place of panic and hopelessness and she had no way of stopping it.

_Oh my God. Oh my God. I can't do this... I can't..._

Her thoughts ran in circles, echoing around in her head, terrified and weak.

She didn't know how long she sat there but just as she was about to completely lose it, the door of her bedchamber flew open and Snow skipped inside, followed by her two other bridesmaids. The little girl didn't seem to notice her distress and Regina quickly loosened her grasp on the covers and let her rigid posture soften a bit as she pushed her panic down.

"Good morning, Regina!" chirped Snow as she practically danced to her and climbed up onto the bed next to her.

"Good morning." she greeted her and pulled her into a short hug so the little girl didn't catch how forced her smile was.

However, she only needed one glance at Emma's face to know that the blonde was fully aware of the state she was in. Those deep forest green eyes shined with concern for her even as she put a smile on her face.

"Morning!" Emma said and her voice was so cheerful it would have fooled Regina if she didn't know better.

"Good morning!" Abigail said too, much quieter than the other girls and she had a soft, peaceful smile on her face.

"It's today! It's today, Regina!" Snow excitedly squealed while bouncing up and down on her bed and Regina felt her throat tighten again.

Emma must have seen the way she struggled to keep up her facade because she stepped up to the bed and put her hand onto the girl's shoulder.

"Yes so why don't you and Abigail go and prepare a good, hot bath for Regina while she gets out of bed?" she offered, glancing back at the other princess, who nodded with a smile and grabbed Snow White's hand to lead her into the bathroom, leaving Emma and Regina alone.

It was strange, sometimes Regina felt like Abigail knew everything. She was mostly quiet, just observing but often Regina caught a glance, a smile or just a gesture from the princess that made her think Abigail knew everything that was going on around her. But she never spoke a word of it, not to Regina or Emma and as far as the brunette knew not to anybody else... If that was the truth, Regina felt an immense amount of gratitude towards Abigail.

As soon as they were finally alone, Emma rushed to her side and sat down next to her on the bed, rubbing Regina's back with her hand gently.

"It's okay..." she whispered, holding Regina's gaze that quickly transformed back to resemble that of a cornered animal.

"No it's not... It's not okay." she rasped out, having trouble just breathing.

"You're right it's not." Emma admitted and a muffled sob broke out of Regina then. "But I'm here for you. I promised and I'm here..." Emma continued, reaching out and tangling her fingers with the brunette's, squeezing them reassuringly. "And now you gotta calm down before that little girl comes back here and sees you sobbing on your wedding day, because that would be hard to explain, right?"

Regina just nodded and wiped the few tears that escaped her eyes off her cheek before leaning over and without thinking pressed her lips to the blonde's in a sweet, sad kiss. It didn't last long but it was enough to give Regina the strength she needed.

"Thank you." she murmured, staying with her forehead pressed against Emma's for a moment before she pulled back completely and stood from the bed.

Emma watched with amazement as she straightened her spine, squared her shoulders and put the mask of a soft smile onto her face, looking every bit of the queen she would officially be from that day on.

* * *

After the very last finishing touch has been done, Regina was finally ready. Hair in a beautiful updo with a few curls framing her face, a light make up on her face to highlight her beautiful eyes. And the dress perfectly fitted to her with a long and frankly, heavy bridal train flowing behind her.

"You look so stunning..." Emma's breathless whisper sounded from behind her as Regina observed herself in the floor length mirror. She caught the sparkling eyes of the blonde without turning to her and for probably the first time that day a genuine smile graced her features.

"You have seen me in this dress at least three times already..." she teased the blonde but her cheeks heated up with a blush.

"Yes but... not with all the other stuff..." Emma said with a grin, motioning towards her head.

"Well thank you..." Regina chuckled then turned away from her reflection to face the blonde, only now noticing that the princess was still wearing the simple red dress she had been in all day. "Why aren't you in your bridesmaid dress, yet? Is something wrong?" she asked, worry creeping into her voice.

"No, no! I just wanted to see you before... before I see you in there..." Emma admitted.

"Okay well, you saw me so now go and get ready!" Regina urged her with a smile, ushering her towards the door. She wasn't going to admit but she couldn't wait to see Emma in the dress she chose. She didn't attend any of the blonde's fittings, purposefully so that it would be a surprise for her in the chapel.

"Hmm impatient to get married, aren't we?" Emma teased and Regina rolled her eyes, the smile dropping from her face as a frown replaced it. "Sorry, bad joke..." the blonde said, her hand reaching for the doorknob before she pulled it back and turned away from the door.

Regina raised her eyebrow in question but Emma just stepped back to her, pressing her body against hers and kissing her passionately. The brunette's breath hitched in her throat but before she could return the kiss Emma was gone, the door closing after her with a quiet thud.

She shook her head with a smile, biting her lower lip as she wondered what this blonde was doing to her. But then a sharp knock on the door dragged her back to reality and her face settled into a nonchalant mask again.

"Yes?" she called out and it opened, revealing her mother.

"Are you ready, Regina dear?" she asked and ran her eyes over her daughter. "Oh aren't you just lovely? So regal and graceful... But don't slouch like that, Regina! Straighten up." she ordered and Regina did as was told. "See? Much better..."

"Yes of course, mother." she nodded obediently and she clasped her hands together in front of her stomach.

"Your father will be here any minute now. I just wanted to check on you and give you  _this..."_ Cora smiled as she stepped closer and held out her hand where surrounded by dark purple smoke a hairpin, adorned by night blue gems, appeared.

"Oh that's... that's beautiful, mother." Regina accepted it with a smile, stepping on front of the mirror and reaching up to fasten it into her hair.

"Good, now I'll go and check on your bridesmaids... I hope they are all ready." she said then she walked to the door, opening it just in time to come face to face with her husband. "Henry, good you're here. Regina's all done." Cora said as she stepped out and she turned back once more as she observed the man's attire with a critical eye. "And do fix your tie, dear." she said and Henry's hand snapped up to fidget with his tie immediately.

Then she was gone, leaving father and daughter alone and Regina could barely resist throwing every pretense away and running into her father's arms, crying. Instead she stepped up to him and pushed his hand gently away, redoing his tie with nimble fingers.

"There, all better…" she murmured to him with a small smile, patting his chest affectionately.

"Thank you, darling." Henry said and he reached out a slightly shaky hand to cup her cheek. "Oh my sweet girl, you look breathtaking." he complimented her but there was an immense amount of sadness in his voice and his eyes. Sadness for her.

"Thanks, daddy." she said, smoothing a hand down her middle self consciously.

"So…are you ready?" he asked.

"You know I'll never be ready for this, daddy… " Regina said, sounding weak and defeated and her father pursed his lips, his eyes shining with sorrow.

"Regina, you are much stronger than you think. You can do this and who knows, in time you might even learn to love the king."

Regina spun around, turning away from her father quickly, her arms coming around her waist to hold herself and she bit her lip to keep from crying. She couldn't ruin her make up after all, her mother would be furious…

"That will never happen, daddy. I can't love him." she said, thinking of her feelings for Emma and trying hard not to think of her emotions towards Daniel because that would have hurt just too much.

"It's a good thing you'll have Emma here then, right? Because everybody needs somebody to love in their lives…" Henry said quietly and Regina's hands dropped as she turned back, her eyes wide and her heart suddenly thumping in her throat because there was something in her father's voice that left no doubt in her mind that he knew. Or at least suspected very strongly. He just stood there with his hands clasped behind his back, the hints of a smile evident on his face. "Of course I know, my sweet… But it's okay, your mother doesn't know and my lips are sealed…" he assured her.

"D-daddy…" she stammered but he cut her off.

"You don't have to say anything… " he said warmly. "She makes you happy, anyone can see that. And as long as you're happy, I'm happy."

"Oh, I love you daddy!" she said, her breath rushing out of her in one relieved sob as she crossed the few feet between them and threw her arms around him.

"And I love you, Regina, more than anything in the world…" he murmured into her hair as he embraced her tightly. "Now let's go, we wouldn't want to keep them waiting…" he said.

She swallowed hard, taking a moment to compose herself then she slipped her arm through his and allowed him to lead her out of the chamber and towards the chapel.

* * *

As she was walking down the aisle Regina felt nothing but emptiness. Bluntness in her whole body. She forced every thought and every feeling aside. Willing herself not to think because she couldn't have her brain realize what was really happening in those moments, willing herself not to feel because the pain would have just been unbearable. She became nothing, empty, more like an object than a person. She distanced herself from all of it.

She heard the wedding march as if she was in a bubble, muffled and just a mere background noise. She saw the blurry form of people on either side of herself as her father led her towards the front of the chapel but she couldn't make out any faces, they all just flew by her. She barely registered the flower petals on the floor that Snow dropped on her way, the flower girl's duty.

She walked gracefully, floating down the aisle, her posture proud, her back straight and her shoulders squared. Her eyes were fixed on a spot just in front of her, staring into empty space, refusing to look at the man waiting for her at the altar.

The only thing that made her come out of this neutral state was catching a glimpse of her bridesmaids in the front row, all three of them lined up and watching her, waiting for her. Her eyes immediately found Emma and she could hardly repress her gasp when she saw the blonde in the gown she chose. All three of the bridesmaids wore a different color and Emma's was a gorgeous shade of green, making her sparkling eyes pop out. Her blonde hair was curled and styled so it fell onto one shoulder, exposing her creamy neck on the other side, making Regina's mouth water. She wore that necklace with the swan pendant. And the dress, that beautiful dress fitted her like a glove…

Regina's heart soared in that moment, drinking in all that was Emma, reveling in the sight and an involuntary smile stretched her lips for a moment before she had to move pass the princess and it was gone again.

And as her father kissed her forehead and placed her hand into King Leopold's, a stone mask settled onto her face again and she rebuilt the wall around her heart. It was like she wasn't even really present throughout the priest's speech, she didn't wince when they pronounced her and Leopold husband and wife even though deep inside her heart shattered into tiny little pieces then it sank into her stomach, heavy as a rock and she closed her eyes and shut her brain off, repressing her revulsion when the king leaned in to kiss her. It wasn't more than a few seconds long and then it was over. A crown, elaborate and heavy was placed on her head and she was declared queen. Leopold smiled at her benevolently, everybody clapped as he grabbed her hand and they made their way out of the chapel.

They made their way to the great hall, the crowd filtering out of the chapel and following them, many rushing to give them their congratulations before the feast and Regina was smiling and thanking people and she was there without really perceiving it.

She refused to think. Because the next thing that would happen after the feast, was the wedding night and she couldn't, just simply  _couldn't_ think of that without going crazy or vomiting or passing out…

And for once, having Emma just a few feet away from her didn't help. She didn't allow it to help. She closed herself off. Because for this, she couldn't be simply Regina. She had to be cold, composed Queen Regina to survive that night. And Queen Regina didn't have feelings, not for Emma and not for anyone. She couldn't accept the comfort of the blonde princess, she couldn't allow herself to soften just the tiniest bit. No, that night she would be empty, nothing. Because she knew that was the only way she would survive.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there! I don't know if there's anyone who's still interested in this story but if yes, thank you! I really hope you enjoy! :) Also thank you all for the kudos on previous chapters!

_Chapter 10_

The cold breeze swept over the castle grounds, blowing fallen leaves across the yard and onto the marble that covered the little square that surrounded the apple tree but Regina was feeling none of it. She was safely snuggled into a huge armchair in the library, warm and content in front of the fireplace with a book in her lap. She was gazing at the pages, seemingly immersed in the story but in reality just lost in thoughts. She fiddled with the ugly, big golden ring on her finger that was the symbol of her captivity but it was just a habit she picked up over the last three months of being married to the king. Her thoughts were at much happier places than her marriage. She thought of curly golden tresses and sparkling forest green eyes. Of a smile so bright that it could lighten up her whole day no matter how bad it was before. Emma had been living with the Royal Family in the castle ever since the wedding and Regina couldn't have been more grateful for it. Without her she would have surely gone insane already. But Emma was there every day, a distraction, a barrier, a safe place for her. Never asking too many questions but always offering comfort.

Regina didn't like talking about her marriage to the king. About what was expected of her as a wife, as a queen. She liked to keep her mind off him whenever possible. And Emma seemed to understand that. She never pushed Regina to open up, she never asked about a bruise here and there and she never ever brought up the king in a conversation between the two of them.

Sounds of muffled laughter filtered into the library and broke Regina out of her reverie. She slowly flicked a page and looked down on the words as the sound got louder, indicating that the source of it approached.

"Nooooo Emma, that's not fair! You can't open your eyes!" came Snow White's chirping voice and as Regina glanced up she saw the young brunette leading the older princess with a hand on her elbow, the blonde's eyes closed but opening the slightest bit from time to time as Emma squinted to see where they were going.

"I'm not opening them!"

"You're peeking." Snow pouted as they stopped a few feet inside the library. "Do you know where we are now?" she asked after a second, her tone laced with the naive excitement of a young child, instantly forgetting her earlier upset state.

"Of course not! You spun me around so many times I don't even know in which wing we are…" Emma insisted though Regina heard the hiding laughter in her voice as the princess indulged Snow.

"Great!" she squealed and then urged Emma to take a couple of more steps forward, towards Regina. "Don't open it yet, don't open… just a little more…" she instructed and for once Emma really stayed with her eyes shut closed, probably because she knew the library well enough to not be afraid of bumping into anything even without her eyesight helping her.

"Where are you leading me Snow?" Emma asked, playing along and the child giggled.

"You'll see! Just a few more steps…" the brunette pulled Emma's hand until the older princess was standing almost right in front of Regina's armchair then she stopped her and positioned her so that she was facing the queen.

Regina took a moment to lose herself in their silly game and let a genuine smile spread on her face. Of course not because of Snow White's annoying over exitedness or the attempted authorative tone she hit as she bossed Emma around. No the smile was for the blonde alone, her patience, her own laughter and then those wrinkles at the corner of her eyes that Regina adored so much. It was for the mischievous tone in her voice as she spoke, the red dress hugging the blonde's body in all the right places that made Regina's heart flutter.

"Can I open it now?" Emma asked as Snow stepped back.

"Yes." she said and she sounded so damn anxious, Regina would have guessed she even held her breath as she watched Emma slowly open her eyes.

But the older brunette wasn't paying any attention to Snow anymore. All she had eyes for was Emma. She fixed her own eyes on the blonde's, waiting to catch a glimpse of those emerald pools of joy and love. And sure enough as soon as Emma had opened her eyes they found Regina and her whole face softened and a radiant beam took over her features.

"Surprise!" Snow called out with a grin, waving an arm to motion towards Regina.

"The best surprise ever…" Emma murmured as she took off and practically launched herself onto the brunette, whow as still sitting in the chair.

The impact of the blonde's body was barely felt as Regina welcomed her with open arms and she resisted the urge to kiss Emma, instead just buried her nose into her blonde curls, inhaling her sweet scent deeply. Emma sat onto her lap and clutched at her tightly, hugging her like it was just the two of them in their little bubble, the whole wide world shut out. But that was how she always hugged Regina, that was how the brunette always felt with Emma. It was silent and loving and intimate in a way but completely presentable even in front of a child at the same time.

"Hello dear…" she murmured to Emma with a fond smile, her voice deep and kind of alluring not that she was trying to make it so or anything.

"Regina." her name fell from the blonde's lips like a prayer, breathless and full of emotion and for a second she was tempted to lean in and press her mouth agains't Emma's but she reminded herself that they weren't alone.

"I though you might feel lonely in here so we came to keep you company…" Snow said and a bitter smirk spread on Regina's face. The girl didn't even know just how right she was about that, she was so alone. When she wasn't with Emma she felt like she was lost. She had noone she could trust, nobody to love apart from the blonde.

"You're right, I am rather lonely." she answered sadly, saying the complete and utter truth without the little girl realizing it. Emma caught it though because she squeezed her hand briefly.

"Well not anymore!" Snow cried out happily and she jumped up onto the couch next to Regina. Emma was still perched on the brunette's lap and didn't seem like she had any intention of moving from there to which Regina would have had no objections whatsoever if it wasn't for the fact that any minute a guard or a maid could walk by and see them. And someone more mature than Snow would surely put together the pieces. There was no use in confirming the already present suspicions about them. Regina sometimes saw the servants' eyes on herself, saw the way the guards looked at Emma, felt how every time they were seen together there was a tension in the air like everyone was waiting for them to do something scandalous. But they were very careful, only kissing behind carefully locked doors or dark corridors and when they got a chance to spend a night together they always sneaked back into their own chambers before the sun was even up. Still there were whispers and rumours going around, though fortunately neither Regina's mother or the king has heard them otherwise Emma would have already been banned from the palace or worse…

So to avoid any of that happening Regina gently put her hands on Emma's hips and pushed a bit, motioning for the princess to move off of her. She saw the slight disapproving pout on the blonde's face as she complied and she had to repress a chuckle. Emma didn't go too far though, she just plopped down onto the thick, soft carpet at the foot of the armchair and leaned back on Regina's leg with a smile. The brunette couldn't help but run her fingers through the princess's hair once before she focused her attention on Snow, who oblivious to their little moment, already started talking about something.

* * *

 

"No. No no please… don't… no…" Regina's horrified mumbling woke Emma in the middle of the night many weeks later.

She blinked sleepily, not quite knowing what made her stir at first but a muffled cry from her side made her eyes snap open in alarm. She shot up and wildly looked around in the room, searching for the cause of Regina's anguish but saw only the darkness staring back at her. There was noone in the chamber besides them.

"No please…I'll do anything… NO!" the brunette screamed and her body started to shake violently, tears slipping down her cheeks.

"Regina! Regina wake up…" Emma leaned over and stroked the other woman's shoulder in a comforting way, trying to coax her into consciousness without spooking her.

Regina tossed around in her sleep, shaking off her hand and turning away from her while sobbing.

"Regina please… wake up…" Emma murmured, gently squeezing her shoulder again and shaking her.

"No…no…" the brunette mumbled but much to Emma's relief she seemed to be slowly regaining awareness. The blonde continued to caress her as Regina's eyelids fluttered and finally she opened her eyes. Teardrops were sparkling on her lashes and her whole body was still trembling but her brown eyes found Emma's and she held onto the princess's gaze as if it was the last thing keeping her tethered to the world.

"Hi…calm down, my love, it was just a dream…" Emma breathed, bringing a thumb up to wipe at Regina's cheek as the brunette turned back towards her fully.

Regina, still utterly shaken up from whatever nightmare she had, snuggled closer to Emma, who closed her arms around her and pulled her closer as she rolled onto her back. They lay there, curled around each other in the dark, the silence only broke by Regina's occasional sniffling.

"Do you want to talk about it…?" Emma asked hesitantly after long moments, running a hand up and down the brunette's back.

"No." Regina whispered into the crook of her neck.

"Okay… but if you change your mind…" She said and pressed a kiss into the brunette's hair.

Once again the silence of the night enveloped them and for a while Emma listened to Regina's breathing as it evened out, the chirring of crickets, the sound of the nightguards's steps outside, horses neighing and an owl howling in the distance. Her eyelids started to feel heavy and she allowed them to drop shut, fairly sure that the brunette already fell back asleep.

"It's Daniel's birthday tomorrow…"

The barely audible, broken whisper seemed to echo around in the darkness. Emma didn't dare move, didn't dare say anything she just waited quietly to see if Regina had anything else to add. The only thing she did was gently run her thumb over the other woman's shoulder to let her know she was listening.

"He would have been twenty this year…" Regina continued, her voice distant, emotionless. "We were supposed to sneak out and spend the whole day together. Just the two of us. Have a picnick or a long ride in the woods."

"That sounds nice…" Emma murmured when Regina was silent for a few moments.

"He will never turn twenty now. We will never run away together… and it's my fault. Emma, he's dead because he loved me… you shouldn't love me. You can't love me!" she said, getting all passionate about it by the end and she pulled away from the blonde to look at her.

"Don't be silly. I love you, it's not something I can turn on and off…"

"I don't want you to die too. You can't die!" Regina cried out, now sitting next to Emma with wild eyes.

"Okay, I'm not dying…shh…" Emma assured her, sitting up as well and cupping the brunette's jaw to pull her into a short kiss.

"Leopold killed him…" Regina mumbled after they broke apart and Emma was about to correct her when she added. "In my dream. I dreamt that it was Leopold, tearing his heart out of his body and crushing it in front of me. Telling me it was my fault…" she said, voice full of self hatred and a single tear slipped down her face as she averted her eyes.

"Hey! Look at me…" Emma said and she tipped Regina's chin up so she could hold her gaze once again. "It wasn't your fault and we both know it… Don't even start blaming yourself over it because it's stupid." she ordered but her tone held a softness that took the blow from her words. Regina stared back at her somewhat defiantly for a few seconds before she literally crumbled before Emma's eyes, her shoulders sinking and her eyes losing their fire and shining with new, grateful tears.

"Thank you…" she whispered, laying back down and pressing a sweet kiss onto Emma's lips before settling back into the blonde's arms. "I love you." she breathed before she closed her eyes again and soon both of them were back asleep.

* * *

 

The next day, in the early hours of the afternoon while Snow was occupied with her classes Emma came to Regina with a shy suggestion that maybe they could honor Daniel's birthday somehow.

"I know it's not what you planned, I know I have no right to share this with you and I didn't even know him at all… But I know he was a good man, he loved you and you loved him and he made you happy and I'll forever be thankful to him for that… " Emma rambled self consciously as she stood in front of Regina in the garden. "We don't have to, if you don't want to… And if you just want to be alone, say the word and I'll be gone. And you don't have to worry about Snow troubling you or anyone, I'll take care of that… I just thought maybe you wanted to honor his memory somehow and I guess all I'm trying to say is that I'm here for you if you want me here…" Emma finished lamely, looking down at her feet for a moment before glancing up at the brunette from under her lashes.

Regina just sat there under the apple tree that was now considered as 'The Queen's tree' all around the castle thanks to the fact that it was the place where Regina spent all of her time whenever she could. She just sat there and looked up at Emma like she was seeing a wonder.

And Emma was staring to get worried that she did something wrong when the softest of smiles spread across Regina's face and she slowly stood up. Without a word she extended her arm and slipped her hand into Emma's, entwining their fingers. Then she led them into the stables, only pausing for a second in the doorway to take a deep breath before she walked straight up to the box of Rocinante. Emma caught up quickly enough and the two of them readied their horses without saying anything. Then Emma helped Regina up into the saddle, wondering even after months at her side how gracefully she moved, how perfectly she sat on top of her horse even in a huge gown. She got onto her own horse too and Regina led the way, riding towards the forest.

They spent the rest of the afternoon riding along sunlit paths and across flowery meadows until Regina stopped Rocinante at the bank of a little river. Emma came to a halt beside her as well just as the brunette effortlessly slid off her stallion and crouched down next to the water.

Regina reached up and took the single, white flower from her hair that she picked up from the ground earlier and with slightly trembling hands she put it onto the surface of the water. The flow took it and moved it so the flower started its travel with the waves of the river. Regina stood and took one step back, eyes never leaving the flower as it swirled and swayed on the water.

"Happy birthday, Daniel." she whispered into thin air.

Emma got off her horse as well and slowly stepped up to the brunette, sliding her arms around Regina's waist from behind. Her eyes were fixed on the flower as well, following its track down the river as she sent a prayer for the man who had to pay with his life for not having been born into a noble family. Who had to pay with his life for love. But somehow deep in her soul Emma knew that Daniel would have thought it was worth it. She knew it because that was how she felt, loving Regina was worth anything.

"Thank you…" Regina's weak voice broke her out of her thoughts and when she looked down she saw that her words were directed at her and not the flower. They locked gazes, the brunette's eyes glimmering with unshed tears and all Emma could do was lean down and press her lips against Regina's in a gentle kiss again and again and again…


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! Thank you so much for the feedback, the kudos and comments! They make me really happy... and I would love to answer them but I can't, for the live of me, figure out how to answer a comment so if someone would be so lovely to help me with it, I'd be absolutely grateful!! :)   
> Anyways, here's the next update, I hope you'll like it!

“Regina! Look! Look!” Snow squealed and twirled around in her ballgown once more. The dress flew up around her, the edge sweeping the floor before lifing up and flailing around the girl’s calves. It was pink and decorated with tiny pearls everywhere. 

“Yes, dear, it’s beautiful.” Regina nodded, forcing a smile onto her face and fake warnmess into her tone. 

The winter ball was fast approaching and they were on Snow’s final dress fitting, Regina just supervising the event and watching as Snow giggled in delight over her newest dress. Unfortunately Emma had been invited to go for a ride with the king and there was no saying ‘no’ to Leopold and anyways, the princess happily obliged so she left Regina and Snow alone to deal with the gowns.

“Don’t you think it’s a bit too long, Your Majesty?” asked one of the servants, bowing in front of Regina.

She regarded the dress carefully, watching as it fell around the girl’s legs before answering.

“No I think it’s perfect, thank you.” she decided with a nod and then stood from her seat on the couch. “Alright Snow, it’s time to go. You have afternoon classes shortly.” she announced and a pout appeared on the girl’s face.

“But Regina… I want to stay in this dress…”   
  
“Well you can’t.” she stated firmly.  
  
“But why?” Snow whined, drawing out the end of her word and Regina gritted her teeth, the girl already annoying the hell out of her.  
  
“Because you will ruin it and then you have to wear something else for the ball.” she said.  
  
“But what if I’m extra careful?” Snow tried to negotiate.  
  
“Snow.” she scolded, biting back any further comments.  
  
“Alright… I’ll take it off.” the girl said, putting on her best pouty face but Regina was having none of it.  
  
“Good.” she answered then without saying another word she turned her back to the girl and walked to the windows, leaning on the sill and gazing out onto the castle grounds.   
  
Despite being January, it was bright and sunny outside, the sunbeams reflecting off the soft layer of snow and creating almost blinding light everywhere. Regina strained her eyes to see to the edge of the forest and her face lit up when after a few moments she noticed the approaching forms. At first it only seemed like a moving little dot but as they came closer, the queen recognised each member of the small group. Emma, with her blonde hair as it waved around her hear wildly, making Regina’s heart jump out of her chest. King Leopold, on his huge, brown stallion. And surrounding them, three guards and the Captain of the King’s guards.  
  
Regina smirked, thinking how it must have bothered Emma to be escorted around in the forest. When they went riding, they never took guards with them. Not only for the obvious reasons, but also because it provided them with a feeling of complete freedom. For those short hours they could pretend that they were just Emma and Regina, two girls in love, riding through the forest, laughing and screaming their joy to the skies.   
  
Regina heaved a deep sigh as she pushed herself away from the window. There was no use in daydreaming, she had long ago learned that. She had spend her entire youth dreaming of a loving family, of a husband she adored, or children of her own and now… Now she had Snow. And the King. She had a kingdom she never wanted. She had responsibilities and restrictions and lies upon lies to protect the only one she truly loved. And even like this she couldn’t be at peace, she had to live in constant fear that the truth may come out and Emma would get hurt.   
  
“Can you hang this up in my chambers? Somewhere where I can see it, please?” Snow’s excited chirping interrupted her thoughts and the little girl appeared with a maid, who had the beloved dress in her arms.   
  
“Yes, your highness. I’ll hang it up on the wardrobe.” the woman nodded with a kind smile and disappeared from the room.  
  
“I’m ready, we can go.” Snow said to Regina.   
  
“Your father will be back in a little while if you wish to wait for him before you start your lessons, I’m sure he wouldn’t mind.” Regina offered and Snow beamed.  
  
“Yes, that would be wonderful!”   
  
And so the two of them made their way down to the garden where they could already hear the shout of men from the stables and the clacking of hooves and neighing.   
  
Soon enough the six figures Regina had seen appeared in in the gateway, riding straight to the stables where four stableboys ran to meet them and help them off their horses.   
Snow took off as soon as she glimpsed them, running as fast as she could in her dress towards the riders, waving enthusiastically with her arms. She basically slammed into her father, who barely even set foot on the ground and she almost knocked him over.  
  
“Snow, my darling girl!” Leopold laughed, embracing his daughter with adoration written clearly across his face. Then his eyes traveled across the yard and settled on the approaching Regina. “Regina, hello!” he greeted her warmly.  
  
“Your majesty!” she forced a smile onto her face but didn’t move to greet him any other way.  
  
“Your majesty, how generous of you to grace us with your presence for our arrival!” Emma’s voice sounded from next to Regina, gleeful and cheeky and entirely too perfect for Regina’s ears.   
  
With a smirk hiding in the corners of her mouth she turned towards the blonde and nodded her head.  
  
“Princess Emma! I hope you enjoyed your ride…” she said with a playful lilt in her tone, only meant for Emma.  
  
“Throughoutly.” she nodded. “Though to be frank, it would have been much more pleasurable if you had been with us.” she winked with a grin then added “The both of you.” with a glance at Snow for the others’ sake.  
  


* * *

  
“Emma! Emma wait…” Regina giggled between kisses as the blonde princess pressed her against a wall in one of the more abandoned corridors of the castle.  
  
“What for? I missed you…” Emma murmured into the shell of her ear, making the brunette shiver.  
  
“Anyone could walk in on us here.” Regina tried to reason but her words ended in a groan when Emma’s hands ran up her body to cup her breasts through the dress.  
  
“I don’t care.” the blonde growled, peppering soft kisses across her neck and collar bone. “This is a dark and rarely used hallway… if anyone were to wander around here, we’d notice in time.”   
  
“Emma, I really don’t think this is a good idea.” Regina muttered hesitantly, her head thrown back in pleasure as the princess devoured her flesh.   
  
“Regina do you want it… do you want me or not? Because that’s the only important question for me right now. I want you.” Emma said, a deep, feral, even dangerous darkness shining in her eyes as she met Regina’s gaze.   
  
“You know I do…” the brunette whispered, her hands coming up to cup Emma’s face properly and bring her face towards Regina’s for a soft kiss.   
  
Emma eagerly kissed her back, deep and passionate and entirely too overwhelming for Regina not to fall right into it with the same fervor. After a few moments of getting as close as possible, practically inhaling the other one, Emma reached down and hoisted Regina up, pinning her to the wall while she brought the brunette’s legs around her hips.  
  
“Emma…” Regina panted, trying to sound stern and disapproving but her flushed cheeks and the fire in her eyes betrayed her.  
  
“Regina” the blonde breathed, her fingers slowly inching Regina’s dress up her tighs, leaving a tingling sensation over her leg. “I spent my day riding with your husband and all the while all I could think of was you. How much I love you and how gorgeous you are and how I just couldn’t wait to… tear this dress off you the moment I saw you…” she said, nuzzling Regina’s neck, her breath dancing across the brunette’s skin deliciously.  
  
“Then why didn’t you?” Regina murmured playfully, arms around the blonde’s neck, fingers tangling into golden curls.  
  
“I don’t think your stepdaughter or husband would have like that…” Emma said, licking a line up to Regina’s ear. “But now that we’re alone and I have you all to myself…” she didn’t finish her sentence instead took Regina’s earlobe between her lips and sucked.   
  
“Oh fuck it…” Regina gasped, her eyes shutting and a moan revebrating through her body as she squeezed her legs around Emma, her nails scraping the other woman’s scalp.  
  
“Watch your mouth, Your Majesty! What will your kingdom think of you?” Emma chuckled.  
  
“Oh just shut up and kiss me!”


End file.
